Exciting Chapter Titles for My Upcoming Autobiography
by Tommy Paley
I know you’ve been waiting on the edge of your seats, but the day has come. I am finally writing my tell-all autobiography!
Here are the working titles of chapters I plan on including in the book. As you can see, this will be quite the amazing read.
20 chapter titles in my autobiography
- How bed-wetting changed my life
- Bringing down the corrupt preschool one unsuspecting early childhood educator at a time
- The pros and cons of breastfeeding at age 10
- My older brother turned me into a gambling addict while helping me with my probability homework
- Eating lard
- The day grandma was arrested for mail fraud was the best day ever
- On my summer vacation I learned the true meaning of colonoscopy (all thanks to you and the zoomed-in photos mom took, dad)
- Discovering my neighbour is a porn star after getting binoculars for my birthday (and other reasons I suddenly became popular in grade 9)
- Wow, wearing dresses is really comfortable!
- Developing resiliency by asking out (and being vehemently rejected) by every girl in senior year
- The day I learned honesty is not always the best policy (turns out admitting to your hot cousin that you think of her while showering is not a good idea)
- Why do random dogs keep biting me?
- Maintaining long-term relationships by weeping uncontrollably after (and during) sex
- Being relentless teased thanks to my horrible fashion sense, ridiculous haircuts and love of celery
- Using brainwashing (and expensive cologne) to find a wife
- “No, dad, we are laughing at you”: Trying, and failing, to leave my family and enroll myself in military school
- Why does everything smell like cat urine
- Debating running away to join the circus (or becoming a nun, whichever is faster and easier on the wallet)
- Long car rides with the kids are a perfect time to go on and on about my laundry list of neuroses and problems
- Midlife crises on a budget