Exciting Chapter Titles for My Upcoming Autobiography

by Tommy Paley

Tommy Paley
Nov 14 · 2 min read
(Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash)

I know you’ve been waiting on the edge of your seats, but the day has come. I am finally writing my tell-all autobiography!

Here are the working titles of chapters I plan on including in the book. As you can see, this will be quite the amazing read.

20 chapter titles in my autobiography

  1. How bed-wetting changed my life
  2. Bringing down the corrupt preschool one unsuspecting early childhood educator at a time
  3. The pros and cons of breastfeeding at age 10
  4. My older brother turned me into a gambling addict while helping me with my probability homework
  5. Eating lard
  6. The day grandma was arrested for mail fraud was the best day ever
  7. On my summer vacation I learned the true meaning of colonoscopy (all thanks to you and the zoomed-in photos mom took, dad)
  8. Discovering my neighbour is a porn star after getting binoculars for my birthday (and other reasons I suddenly became popular in grade 9)
  9. Wow, wearing dresses is really comfortable!
  10. Developing resiliency by asking out (and being vehemently rejected) by every girl in senior year
  11. The day I learned honesty is not always the best policy (turns out admitting to your hot cousin that you think of her while showering is not a good idea)
  12. Why do random dogs keep biting me?
  13. Maintaining long-term relationships by weeping uncontrollably after (and during) sex
  14. Being relentless teased thanks to my horrible fashion sense, ridiculous haircuts and love of celery
  15. Using brainwashing (and expensive cologne) to find a wife
  16. “No, dad, we are laughing at you”: Trying, and failing, to leave my family and enroll myself in military school
  17. Why does everything smell like cat urine
  18. Debating running away to join the circus (or becoming a nun, whichever is faster and easier on the wallet)
  19. Long car rides with the kids are a perfect time to go on and on about my laundry list of neuroses and problems
  20. Midlife crises on a budget

The Bigger Picture

Oddly specific. Universally applicable. Submit your writing to biggerpicturemedium@gmail.com.

Tommy Paley

Written by

I write creative non-fiction, humorous and random short stories, unique and tasty recipes and fiction involving odd and funny relationships. I also love cheese.

The Bigger Picture

Oddly specific. Universally applicable. Submit your writing to biggerpicturemedium@gmail.com.

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