First 2020 Presidential Debate Prop Bets
Make some money while the world burns. Everyone else is.
The Super Bowl of world domination — a.k.a. who gets to be the next leader of the once-great and again-great and still-wanting-to-be-great-again-again(?) United States of America — is just over a month away, and the first presidential debate is really going to kick this election season into overdrive.
The Brawl In The Fall. The Rumble As We Crumble. The Thrilla Of Vanilla. Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. vs. Donald J. Jonah Jameson Trump.
Winner gets bragging rights. Loser… also gets bragging rights? But, like, only with their base. But, then again, so does the winner. It’s a real mess, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t profit off it!
Below are the biggest prop bets you’ll see people throwing money at for the debate on September 29th, and a little tidbit of advice from yours truly.
HANDSHAKE
- Normal handshake — 3–1
- No handshake/greeting — 5–1
- Weird elbow bump thing — 10-1
- Trump does the “too slow” thing — 16–1
Advice: If you’re traditional, you might take the easy money, where a $100 bet on a normal handshake will yield a return of $300. But this debate is anything but traditional. A global pandemic. Civil unrest. A toxic political waste dump. No way there is a handshake or any form of greeting on Tuesday night.
MENTIONS OF OBAMA
- Over | 11.5 — 2–3
- Under | 11.5–5–2
Advice: They really low-balled this over/under. Of course it’s going to be over. If your bookie allows it, bet double the over. Even triple. Trump and Biden will each bring up Obama plenty of times.
JOE BIDEN SAYING “I AIN’T NO SOCIALIST”
- Yes — 3–1
- No — 3–1
Advice: The line is even for this bet, but what you have to really consider is how much Trump will accuse Biden of being a socialist. Will it be enough to illicit this response? If Trump’s rhetoric on Twitter and during his rallies is any indiction, then yes.
SOMEONE LETS A JUICY LUCY OUT THEIR CABOOSEY
- Joe Biden — 11–1
- No fart/fart not audible — 13–1
- Chris Wallace — 25–1
- Donald Trump — 60–1
Advice: Three men all over the age of 72. Of course one of them will delight the minimal crowd with some ass acoustics. But which one? The oddsmakers are betting on you to take Biden, but that’s why I’m here to advise you against that. The move to make here is putting all the money on Donald Trump. A $100 bet will make you $6,000. His pre-debate warmup is housing 3 Big Macs and a large fries. He’ll be the one playing the O-ring oboe. Bet on it.
WHAT COLOR TIE WILL TRUMP WEAR
- Blue — 2–1
- Red — 3–1
- Any other solid color — 10–1
- A funny cat tie — 12–1
- No tie — 100–1
Advice: No reason to be fancy here. He’s the Republican candidate, and he’ll be wearing a red tie.
WHAT COLOR TIE WILL BIDEN WEAR
- Blue — 1–1
- Red — 4–1
- Rainbow — 8–1
- No tie — 11–1
- Cheeseburger tie — 25–1
- Tie with cars on it — 50–1
Advice: The obvious bet is blue, but that’s not worth it. Go big here. How many ties do you think Joe Biden realistically owns? Maybe 50? And we all know Joe Biden well enough to know that at least 5 of those ties have cars on them. Maybe race cars or classic cars. But that means 10% of his tie collection fits the bill, and all we need to make some serious money is an accidental wardrobe mishap (i.e. Biden putting on the wrong tie). It’s not a safe bet, but it’s a fun one. Go with cars.
WHAT NICKNAME WILL TRUMP CALL BIDEN FIRST?
- No nickname — 8–1
- “Sleepy Joe” — 10–1
- “Crazy Joe” — 14–1
- “Mighty Joe Young” — 30–1
- “Crazy Bernie” — 100–1
Advice: The oddsmakers think there is at least some chance of Trump confusing Biden with Bernie Sanders. It’s possible, but unlikely. This bet is actually the easiest one you can make. Trump watches Fox News every day, and before the debate on Tuesday will be no exception. But do you know what’s playing, inexplicably, right before Fox and Friends on Tuesday? That’s right. Mighty Joe Young. It makes absolutely no sense as a nickname, but Trump’s brain is simple. He saw the movie title, sees his opponent has the same name. and that’s that. It’s gonna happen.
THE ROCK IS NAME-DROPPED
- No — 2–1
- Yes — 20–1
Advice: You just can’t pass up these odds, especially since it happened so recently. Trump might mention it out of jealousy, or Biden might bring it up with glee. Chris Wallace might even ask a question about it. One way or another, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will be a topic of conversation Tuesday night.
RACIAL SLUR
- Trump — 1–100
- Biden — 8–1
- Chris Wallace — 14–1
- Your dad — 10,000–1
Advice: These are tough odds. Of course Trump will say something racist, whether it’s the way he refers to the pandemic, or even letting something slip about the Black Lives Matter movement. But a $100 bet will only win you a measly dollar. That’s not worth it. And, while there’s a chance Biden and Wallace quote something racist Trump says, they will be conscious of their words and not repeat any slurs. Go big on this one, and bet on your father. He will no doubt say a racial slur, but it’s just a matter of him somehow getting on the debate stage to say it. Close to impossible? Yes. Downright absurd to even consider? Of course. But, as Kevin Malone once said in The Office: “If anyone gives you 10,000 to 1 odds on anything, you take that bet.”
Take that bet.
Jared is an award-winning (that’s not true) writer who has published featured articles (also not true) in Playboy, Maxim, and Entertainment Weekly (no, no, and no). In his free time, he donates his time to help (don’t know where this is going, but it’s probably not true) inner-city youth learn how to read (yeah, not true). If you enjoyed this piece or would like to troll Jared on social media, his Twitter is here.
