Four Dudes Play Dungeons & Dragons
And one of them tries to get hot-hot with the innkeeper
I went undercover as a drop-in player for a local Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) session. I was steered toward this group in particular because of their… unorthodox playstyles.
I was in for a sexy time. But, as with sensuality, the more you try, the less it works.
We started this leg of the quest at an inn…
The Dungeon Master (DM) started, “All right, our heroes wake up at the Charcuterie Board and Baster Inn. We are a little hungover from our carousing the night previous — roll for hangover damage.”
This elicited a moan from the gang. They all rolled twenty-sided dice (D20’s). Some lost hit points. Very exciting.
The DM continued, recapping the overarching mission, “We still need to return the Gem of Shifting Sands to the Calim Desert. What do you do?”
A moment passed, then Cümdümp the Virile — a dwarf barbarian — spoke up in a passable Scottish accent. “We do nothing. I want to seduce the innkeeper.”
Everyone groaned. I’d heard this was a far-too-common occurrence for this group, and exactly why I dropped in.
The question was begged: would the DM allow this? Or would he fight tooth and nail to…
