Here’s the Transcript from the First 2020 Presidential Debate
The debate took place on September 29th, 2020
Anderson Cooper: Welcome to the first presidential debate of this election season. I’m Anderson Cooper, and I’ll be moderating tonight. The three candidates, from left to right on stage, are Democrat and former Vice President Joe Biden, Republican incumbent President Donald Trump, and, uh, Kanye West? Kanye, didn’t you drop out? What are you doing — you know what? Whatever. We’re going to start today by giving you each 45 seconds to deliver opening remarks. Mr. West, you can go first.
Kanye West: We need life in this country. I got life. We need liberty and the pursuit — to pursue, to chase — happyness. They spell it with a “y” in the Declaration. You know why? Why and “y”? Kanye has a “y.” Ye. That’s why.
Anderson Cooper: Okay? Vice President Biden, you can go next.
Joe Biden: Everyone walking around now in this country, they don’t know where it all went. Where is it? We had it, but now it’s gone. When I served under my good friend Barack Obama, it was everywhere. We all had it, but ever since Donald Trump won in 2016, it disappeared, and that’s not a coincidence. It doesn’t just happen like that. They have dismantled it, and my presidency will assure that we get it back.
Anderson Cooper: And what exactly is the “it” you’re speaking about?
Joe Biden: Decency, Anderson! C’mon! I’m talking decency here!
Anderson Cooper: Okay, great. That’s great. President Trump, how about you —
Donald Trump: — First of all, they had to beg me to be here. I got a lot going on, okay? Okay? But I came because it’s presidential. I’m presidential. Some have said I’m the most presidential president of all the presidents. Some say I (unintelligible). We have a minority — a majority of silent minorities, that’s what they’re calling it — and they all showed up to vote in 2016 and they will show up again. But the mainstream media doesn’t say it. They don’t say it. They say (unintelligible). I gotta say it. But they come out. They always do.
Anderson Cooper: Okay, off to a great start. Our first question is a viewer question from… Joe Biden? Vice President Biden, did you submit a viewer question?
Joe Biden: I don’t think I did. I just tried Googling something earlier but never got an answer.
Anderson Cooper: Yeah, that wasn’t Google, it was our — ya know what? Never mind. I’ll read it anyway… What is the biggest number? President Trump, why don’t we start with you?
Donald Trump: A billion.
Anderson Cooper: A billion? You’re going with one billion? To the question of what the biggest number is?
Donald Trump: That’s right Anderson. And I don’t appreciate the trick question, by the way.
Anderson Cooper: Right.
Kanye West: I got an answer, AC360. I got an answer.
Anderson Cooper: Okay, Mr. West, you know that’s not my name, just the name of my show. But what are your thoughts?
Kanye West: I can’t answer it. No one can answer it.
Anderson Cooper: Okay, yeah, actually, that’s very —
Kanye West: — Because what is a number? They just keep us counted. And we’ll keep being counted. We can’t be numbers. None-bers. We gotta be something-bers. There’s something about us. Something about me. I’m meant for it. I got this, AC360. They all know. I got this. Give me the chance, Anderson. I need you to give me that chance.
Anderson Cooper: Okay, Mr. West, you understand I’m not the one who decides who gets to be President, right?
Donald Trump: I want to change my answer.
Anderson Cooper: Okay, sure. Ten seconds.
Donald Trump: Zero.
Anderson Cooper: So now you want to say zero is the biggest number?
Donald Trump: It’s the only number with a hole big enough to fit all of the other numbers in it. It was a stupid trick question, but I got it. It was a (unintelligible) but here I am and I did it. Something no one else could’ve done, but I did it.
Anderson Cooper: Sure, moving on now to an actual question —
Joe Biden: — Wait, Anderson, I didn’t get to answer.
Anderson Cooper: You asked it. But, okay, fine, go ahead.
Joe Biden: Numbers remind me, they make me recall a story from when I was a boy. We were out there, at the watering hole, taking dips, dressed down to our skivvies, playing Laugh In The Grass. It was this — this little game we made up. We’d laugh in the grass, then jump in the water, then laugh some more. And there were six of us that would play. So six. It’s gotta be six.
Anderson Cooper: Six? You think six is the biggest number? Vice President Biden, how many people do you think are in this auditorium right now?
Joe Biden: I’d have to guess a few hundred.
Anderson Cooper: And you still want to say six is the biggest number? Am I understanding you correctly?
Joe Biden: Anderson, listen, coming up when I did, we didn’t worry about numbers and sizes. Some people — like this current president— all they are worried about is themselves. And that’s not a way to run a country. There are more important things. And I don’t think most American people care about the answer to that question.
Anderson Cooper: YOU ASKED THE QUESTION! You know what? I’m done. This is over. It’s not helping anyone. Roll commercial. Fuc —
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