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Religious Homophobes Never See Themselves as Bigots.
I keep telling my progressive friends who think calling homophobes “bigots” online is counterproductive, that just because it makes someone uncomfortable, doesn’t mean it’s not true. Or effective.
“Laura, you’re right, they are bigots, but shaming someone never works.”
I disagree.
A label, carefully and respectfully placed (no rage baiting, no low blows) can force self-reflection. Which might lead to a changed heart.
Bigot. Xenophobe. Racist. Then define the term for them. They won’t answer you, but they might ponder if they fit the bill.
With friends and family who I suspect are bigots, I just avoid the subject unless they use a slur or say something egregious. I won’t be complicit.
I regularly call people bigots behind their back. Where I can safely vent to my husband because it feels cathartic.
I’ve been a vocal LGBTQ ally for a decade, but a few years ago my daughter told me and my husband that she’s bisexual. She has a serious girlfriend. So my mother bear reared and I’ve been extra pissed at LGBTQ bigots (and I live in Florida, enough said).