I-Can’t-Stand, Stand-I-Can’t, That Seth Rogen, Man!

art by @ernio.art

I can’t, man!
Man, I can’t.

That Seth Rogen…
That Seth Rogen!
I do not like
that Seth Rogen.

Did you not like him
on “Freaks and Geeks?”

I did not like him there,
on “Undeclared.”
I did not like him
on “Dawson’s Creek.”

Couldn’t you like him
in “Anchorman?”

I could not like him then
I just don’t think I can.
I did not like him
on “American Dad.”
I did not like him
in “Superbad.”
I do not like him,
Seth Rogen.

Did you like him
in “Donnie Darko?”
Did you like him
in “Zack & Miri Make a Porno?”

I did not like him
in “Donnie Darko.”
I did not like him
in “Zack & Miri Make a Porno?”
I did not like him
in “You, Me and Dupree.”
I did not like him
in “Kung Fu Panda” or “2” or “3.”
I did not like him in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.”
I do not like him, Seth Rogen.

How about him
in “Horton Hears a Who!?”
Or maybe “Neighbors?”
…“Neighbors 2?”

Not in “Horton Hears a Who!”
Not in “Neighbors.”
nor “Neighbors 2.”
Not even “Knocked Up” would do.
He did not mess up “Step Brothers,” I guess.
But I would not go near “Pineapple Express.”
I would not see most movies with him.
I do not like them, or just not Seth Rogen.

“Arrested Development?”
as Young George Bluth?
Not even him then?
Tell me the truth.

I can’t stomach him,
or put up with him,
he’s like pulling out a tooth.

You may like him in “Paul”
or “Take This Waltz.”
You may like him
in “For a Good Time, Call…”

I would not, could not in any or all.
Not in “Fanboys” nor “Family Guy”! I won’t even try.
I did not see him in “Monsters vs. Aliens” or “The Green Hornet.”
I did not see him in “Funny People” or “The Mindy Project.”
I did not see him in “Eastbound & Down” or “50/50.”
I did not see him “The Guilt Trip” or “Broad City.”
I did not see “The Interview” or “The League.”
I did not see “Steve Jobs” or “Sausage Party.”
I did not like that movie “This Is the End.”
I don’t know why, but I bet: Seth Rogen.

Do you recall,
to the best of your knowledge,
if you liked him at all
in “Friends from College?”

Not in that show. Not in anything,
no.
I cannot stand his laugh, his voice.
I plan not to, if I can or have a choice.
I will not see him in a movie.
I will not see him on the TV.
I will not see him, hear him or even care.
If he’s not in something, count me there.
I just do not like that Seth Rogen.

Say!
Maybe “The Disaster Artist?”
He plays a script supervisor!
Maybe, there could be some kind of catharsis?

There would not, there could not,
not even in darkness.

Possibly as Pumbaa?
In the new “Lion King?”

He could never live up to Ernie Sabella.
And I love Billy Eichner, but Nathan Lane was stellar.
Seth’s a shoo-in, to ruin
that remake forthcoming.

Wow, you do not like
Seth Rogen?

I do not
like him.
Man! I can’t.
I do not like him, 
Seth Rogen.

You do not like him.
So you say.
Try him! Try him!
And you may.
Try him and you may, I say.

Man!
If he will let me be,
I will try him.
And we’ll see...
Say!
I like Seth Rogen!

You do?

No. No I don’t.