I Embraced My Faith and Learned to be Unhappy

A quote that often comes to mind is one from Sigmund Freud, where he describes the task of psychoanalysis as “turning your hysterical misery into common unhappiness.” That is, while therapy can help treat various neuroses, we’re all fucked when it comes to the kind of unhappiness that is simply part of everyday human existence.

Freud’s understanding of psychoanalysis seems to jibe well with the way I’ve come to understand the goal of theology and the Christian life in general. Rather than avoiding the problems of existence by neurotically postulating a God who merely functions to tie the loose ends of our lives — what Dietrich Bonhoeffer referred to as a deus ex machina — the truly Christian thing to do is to be fully present in the world, both in times of consolation and desolation, as though there were no God. Performatively, then, our approach to life should be that of an atheist.

For most Christians, they go to God to gain a sense of meaning in life, certainty, and satisfaction. And, while believing this can offer a modicum of reprieve, at its worse it denies legitimate suffering altogether. Christians are notorious for offering trite, theological answers to pacify our doubts, or quell our fears. Like Job’s friends, rather than sit with those who suffer, they explain it away, framing it in some “higher purpose.” They quote Jeremiah 29:11. They say things like, “She’s in a better place.” Or, like reading tea leaves, they’ll interpret your suffering as the result of some deep-seated sin, or as an impromptu testing of your faith.

It is this kind of “hysterical misery” that I want to shed from my faith. As a Christian I don’t want to abandon the world with worldview placebos and theological formulations. To live authentically as a Christian (as I see it at this juncture in my life) is to move into “common unhappiness” — to face it, and hopefully, to meet others in the midst of it.

Well, I’m gonna go and cry now. You’re welcome to join me.

Joe