It’s Not About You — America’s Loss of Empathy

Harsh, right? It’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks, and I find myself wondering how our country is in such divide. There is so much on social media and in the news that it is overwhelming. The world is watching as we turn on each other with such pettiness that it is comparable to a high school football rivalry. That is not to say that the issues are petty, far from it. This is a reflection on how we are communicating, how we are negotiating, and how we are empathizing with each other across party lines. And we are falling embarrassingly short.

Presidential candidates are not sports teams, and we are not helping this country by staying loyal even when they’re failing. The election is over, and it is not about Hillary any more than it is about defending your Trump vote, or throwing your hands up in the air because when Bernie checked out, so did you. This is about us now, the United States of America, and who we want to be as a people. That is democracy.

That brings me to what I call the “white flag wavers.” This includes those on social media or in conversation who say “I’m not political” as a way to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation. Trust me, I understand the temptation. I too would like to go back to pictures of puppies and babies flooding my newsfeed, but that simply isn’t the world we are living in at the moment. There are many who are just not informed, and choose not to inform themselves on these issues for fear of picking a side, and offending the other. However, we cannot afford to tread lightly in the current state of our country. Inaction is an action in itself, and not informing yourself on the current happenings and the future of our country (regardless of your opinion) is not diplomatic. It is unpatriotic in the purest sense.

We’ve lumped millions of people together and created stereotypes that fit our needs, but are not necessarily true. Republicans are the racist elite, out of touch with the everyday man. Democrats are sore losers and whiners who do not appreciate what they have. Feminists are man haters. Black Lives Matter activists are Caucasian-haters. The list goes on. We need to reconnect as humans, and redefine the party line. That is when we will see change.

How do we get there? Practicing empathy.

I am a middle class white woman with a career. I have lived a privileged life, and I am grateful to live in a country where I have the opportunity to even have these conversations. However, good enough is not good enough for me. Also, it’s not about me. Or you. Just because you may not have felt victimized as a woman, a Muslim, an African American, or a homosexual, does not mean that that isn’t the reality for millions of others. This is not victim mentality perpetuated by the media. These are actual injustices that many experience every single day.

I am not confused about my worth or my place in the world, led astray by the proposed lying media. I can side with Republicans that not all professions experience the wage gap, and not all women feel that they are undervalued. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true for others. That is not an alternate truth. It is a fact. Instead of perpetuating a blanket statement that we are all equal if we try hard enough, let’s look at the facts:

Yes, the FMLA provides 12 weeks of unpaid leave for new mothers, but the requirements are hard to meet. Even in the best circumstance, women are only paid 60% of their earned salary during a time that they are literally healing from birthing a human. That is not equality.

The current administration feels that women who have to go through the traumatizing experience of an abortion, regardless of their circumstance, should be jailed or punished for choosing such a grim fate for a living thing. Yet, we are making fear-based decisions to turn away refugee children, and in that sentencing them to death. That is not equality.

Some religious groups have continued to campaign against Planned Parenthood, ignoring the 97% of preventative care they offer for women’s health, and cursing the 3% of abortions carried out there. Yet, there are no picket lines shaming the men who impregnated these women. Our bodies, our fault…but not our choice? That is not equality.

Recognizing inequality is not a weakness. Praising Black History Month is not a shot at other races. Supporting LGBT rights is not a reflection of hate towards heterosexuals. And valuing women is not devaluing men. This is not an argument. This is our reality. And I for one, won’t shy away from that so that I seem less “political.”