Why You Should Host Your Own Storytelling Night
You’ll help people connect in new and meaningful ways
--
Remember when you were a kid at summer camp, or at a slumber party, or sitting around a fire? People would start telling stories. Stories allow you to enter the world of someone else, to let your imagination run wild, and to see people in a new way.
Stories are a powerful way to bring people together — because although it’s not your story, the people and places and things that happen in the story are relatable. They make you feel as though the events could have happened to you.
With stories, we get to follow the storyteller on a journey — a journey often filled with challenges, and stumbles, and striving to overcome adversity. It reminds us of the beauty of the human spirit, and how we’re all connected in a beautiful way.
Some of my favorite memories as a kid are from the times my dad would come into the room at bedtime and tell my brothers and me stories of his childhood growing up in Indonesia. It always fascinated me to learn about the adventures he had, the near misses, the people he met, and the challenges he overcame.
I served for eight years in the Army, and when I got out, I started working for a veteran support non-profit. Using physical and social activity, we helped veterans find the things they miss the most — people, purpose, and identity. One thing we encouraged veterans to do was to tell their personal story. Through storytelling, veterans talked about things they’d been holding inside — PTSD, survivor's guilt, depression, and loneliness. And often, storytelling helped start the healing process.
I’ve seen the power of stories, how they can heal, and also how they can help you enter someone else’s world. And how they can make you feel more connected to someone — even someone you’ve just met.
I’ve been to a couple of storytelling events, and they were great, but only a handful of people could tell stories. And to tell your story, you had to get up on stage with a microphone in front of a large crowd. I wanted to bring people together to share stories without the pressure of a big crowd or microphones in an environment that felt safe.
I’ve hosted two storytelling nights now at my house — here are some tips for how you can host one as well:
Make it low-key
You want the setting to feel safe and relaxing. Host it in your living room with about 12–15 people. And let people know telling a story is optional. I’ve found about half the people commit to telling a story before the event begins — and the other half get up to tell a story once they see it’s not so bad. It’s a good idea to let people tell their story wherever they are comfortable. For some, it means sitting on a chair up front. For others, it means standing up somewhere in the living room. And for others, it means staying seated on the couch and telling their story right from there. Let people tell their story wherever they are most comfortable.
Send out some prompts
It’s helpful to email out a prompt or two so people can get their creative juices flowing. But don’t limit stories to just the prompts. Tell people they can tell any story they like. This is especially good for the people who are a little more shy, or may feel the prompt is too limiting. Open it up to whatever people feel motivated to talk about. Some prompts I’ve used in the past:
- Close calls and narrow misses (That flight you almost didn’t make, the interview you had to sprint to, that missed connection you saw on the train or at a coffee shop, almost getting caught, the time victory was in your grasp)
- New beginnings (Hitting the bottom and starting over again, a first kiss and that new relationship, starting a new job, moving to a new city, finding inner peace)
- Planes, trains, and automobiles (That epic road trip, a flight that took you on a magical journey to a foreign land, family vacations, a stranger you met on a train, that first car in high school or college, getting from point A to point B and everything that happened along the way)
- Coming of age (discovering your true calling in life, that time you took a stand for something, realizing that you are powerful, finding your voice, that one moment that has impacted your whole life)
Keep stories at 5–7 minutes
To make sure everyone has time to speak and you don’t tire people out, keep the stories to between 5 and 7 minutes. Just enough time to make things interesting and exciting, but not so long that people lose interest. But if someone wants to tell a 2 or 3 minute story, that’s fine too!
Build in some ice breakers
I have two jars I set up at the beginning of the night. If you want to tell a story, you put your name in one jar. In the other jar, you write an interesting event that happened to you. Every storyteller who goes up pulls something out of the event jar and reads it before they tell their story. And then everyone has to guess who the event happened to. It’s a great way to keep things lively and interesting, and also a good way for everyone to get to know each other.
Stories are such a powerful way to bring people together. They help us better understand and connect with others and allows us to put ourselves in their shoes. If you love stories and bringing people together, consider hosting your own storytelling night. Keep it low key, send out some helpful prompts, keep the stories at 5–7 minutes, and build in some moments to help break the ice.
Good luck and have fun!
About the Author:
Andrew lives and works in San Francisco. He’s newly married, a big brother in a family with 8 kids, and an uncle to two amazing nieces. A combat veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, he writes about mental health and relationships, and finances. When he’s not working, you can find him running or biking, doing yoga, cooking with his apron on, or adventuring with his amazing wife.
