You Look Like a Moped Guy

(Image/Pixabay)

So you’re lookin’ for a new set of wheels and you’re not sure what kind. Well check out this magnificent machine. They call this baby a moped. That’s right. 50cc’s of Taiwanese muscle…on two wheels.

Let me ask you something: have you ever felt the wind punch you in the face as you barrel down the road at 31 miles per hour?

Well, you have not lived, my friend. You have not lived.

I know what you’re thinking: “Am I man enough to tame this bucking bronco? Do I live my life with enough reckless abandon to park a motor vehicle at a rack made for bicycles? Am I truly a moped guy?” Well let’s find out.

Has a moped guy ever been to prison?

Of course not.

Does he own a leather jacket?

Just a windbreaker.

Is he a lover, not a fighter?

He’s made love twice.

Sound familiar? Yup, you’re a moped guy alright. Hop on.

I bet you can already feel the power in your thighs, easy rider. I bet you can.

Picture this: It’s Friday night. You hop on this bad boy wearing your favorite Hawaiian and some protective eyewear. There’s some attractive women giggling to your right. Are they laughing at you? Probably, but fuck ’em. This isn’t about them…