Quick Hits, El Camino Edition

Sonny asks Dalton … Was there a better possible title for this movie than, “El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie”?

Yes. El Camino is a terrible title for this movie. I understand that the car is important and all, it’s how Jesse escapes the neo-Nazis, but it’s in the movie for like 15 minutes! I assumed, based on the misleading title, that he was going to be on the run the whole time in the El Camino, a very cool car! This is not the case, instead for the majority of the movie he is driving around in Badger’s not as cool car: a 1986 Pontiac Fiero. Now, me not being able to guess the entire plot of the movie was probably the point of having a misleading title, but it still just doesn’t work for me. Aaron Paul even showed up to the premiere in an El Camino. They just laid it on way too thick for the titular vehicle to play such a small part. So, here are some of my suggestions for a better title for the film:

Fiero: A Breaking Bad Movie

Best Quality Vacuum: A Breaking Bad Movie

Hoover MaxExtract PressurePro model 60: A Breaking Bad Movie

Alaska: A Breaking Bad Movie

Don’t get too Excited about the El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Nazis Super Suck: A Breaking Bad Movie

Todd is a Psychopath: A Breaking Bad Movie

Dalton asks Sonny … Are there any other TV shows you can think of that deserve a spinoff movie named after a car? Please also give me a brief synopsis of said movie.

Before I get to my answer, I just want it known that we’re in lockstep on El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie being a disappointing title for an otherwise great movie. Like you, I’ve come up with a handful of titles I feel are better options than El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie.

$1,800 Short: A Breaking Bad Movie

Those Aren’t Really Police Officers: A Breaking Bad Movie

Lou’s a Nosey Bastard: A Breaking Bad Movie

Two Guns: A Breaking Bad Movie

Of Course, Chubby Todd Hid His Money in the Refrigerator: A Breaking Bad Movie

So I’m about to go on a quick tangent that has nothing to do with Breaking Bad or El Camino, but it’s Dalton’s fault because his question prompted this line of thinking. I couldn’t think of another TV show that deserved a spinoff movie based on the name of a car. However, I did think of a movie that deserved a spinoff TV series based on the name of a vehicle. I present you, The #9 Bus.

The #9 Bus would be a weekly anthology series that’s a spinoff of Forrest Gump. We would see more people waiting on the same bus bench that Forrest sat on, interacting with strangers, sharing their life stories, as they wait for the #9 Bus, the same Bus that Forrest had been waiting for before taking off on a dead sprint after finding out Jenny’s apartment was within running distance — which really, if you think about it, is kind of a plot hole in the movie since Forrest spent over three years running for no reason but then all of the sudden he’s content with being a Chatty Cathy on a bus bench while waiting for his ride. That’s just strange to me.

Anyway, The #9 Bus would be shot similar to how Forrest Gump was shot. It would rely heavily on flashbacks and would take us through various periods in American history telling us unique stories about a different individual each episode.

I’m ready for this idea to make me, as Forrest would put it, a gozillionaire.

Sonny asks Dalton … Granted I’m certainly in no position to knock anyone for being a little doughy, but do you think the reason Uncle Jack didn’t appear in the movie was because Todd ate him?

This question made me spit out my drink the first time I read it. Bravo.

While quite uncharitable to Todd aka Jesse Plemons aka Meth Damon, it’s still an incredibly important question to ask. I think the answer is yes. There is plenty of evidence that Todd is a psychopath, so I wouldn’t put cannibalism past him. I can just imagine a scenario where Todd has Uncle Jack over for lunch but quickly realizes he’s all out of Campbell’s soup. He then decides he has the rumblies in his tummy that only Uncle Jack can satisfy. Uncle Jack is a real piece of shit, so this would be a fitting end for him. I just wonder what eating another human being does for your cholesterol.

Dalton asks Sonny… As a friend, would you consider yourself more of a Badger or a Skinny Pete? This is an important question that should really be on any kind of personality tests in the future. I’m definitely more of a Badger. Sure, I’ll be there for you, but reluctantly. I have too much self-preservation to be throwing myself under any busses for you, but I could probably be persuaded to if you guilt me enough.

This is a cop-out answer, but it truly all depends on how close I feel to that person. There are about six non-blood related people in my life who I’d be a Skinny Pete for, and that’s it. Everyone else is only getting a Badger effort out of me. But those six people who get the deluxe Skinny Pete package … You’re in trouble with the law? You’re on the run? I’ll facilitate the plan, I’ll drag all the Badger’s in our friend group into it to help out, and I’ll make sure it goes off without a hitch. I’d take a prison sentence, a bullet, whatever ya need. I’ll even give you the beanie off my head.

Clearly, Skinny Pete feels this way about Jesse Pinkman. As he so eloquently put it, “Dude, you’re my hero and shit.” I was not expecting that the most touching line of El Camino would be capped off with “and shit,” nor did I expect that line would be delivered by Skinny Pete of all people, but hey, I can’t say that I wasn’t pleasantly surprised.

You made me realize something too, Dalton. A Breaking Bad-themed Personality Test could actually be very beneficial. Not the typical “Which Breaking Bad Character Are You?” kind of personality test either (I got Jesse, Bitch). I’m talking about a very legitimate, Myers & Briggs style Personality Test that asks questions about your personal feelings regarding the various ethical dilemmas presented in Breaking Bad.

Do you think Walter White was capable of all of this before he got his cancer diagnosis? Is Jesse Pinkman a good person? How guilty should Skyler feel for fucking Ted? Should we let Walt off the hook since his last day was spent killing neo-Nazi’s? As a friend, would you consider yourself more of a Badger or a Skinny Pete?

Those would be the first five questions on the Official White & Pinkman Breaking Bad Personality Test.

Sonny asks Dalton … As someone who hasn’t yet watched Better Call Saul (??!?!!!??!?), did El Camino make you more likely or less likely to want to catch up on BCS before it’s initial run ends?

This is a great question, and the answer is probably no, I won’t watch Better Call Saul before its initial run ends. This isn’t anyone or anything’s fault, especially not El Camino, there is just too much television out there that I need to catch up on. Especially now that Disney Plus is out, I’ll be needing to dedicate 85% of my time to everything on there. I need my nostalgia fix like the good little addicted millennial that I am. Sorry to Better Call Saul but it’d be better if no one holds their breath waiting for me to watch it.

Thinking about all of this did allow me to have an interesting revelation though. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to re-watch Breaking Bad ever again. It is obviously one of the greatest television shows ever made, and I’ve watched it all the way through twice, but that will probably have be it. Jesse’s story is just too damn tragic for me. Watching Walt’s rise and meteoric fall is wonderful and horrible all at the same time, but it’s just not worth it to put myself through Jesse’s arc any more than I already have.

Dalton asks Sonny… Who do you think Jesse had the most emotional scene with in El Camino? Was it Walt, Mike, Skinny Pete, or Jane? Or you can suggest your own, you’d just probably be wrong. My pick is Mike, the opening scene in El Camino was very effective.

You’re right, the Mike/Jesse scene was a great way to start things off. I always really enjoyed and appreciated the relationship those two had and how Mike seemed to look after Jesse in such a genuine, fatherly way. Skinny Pete might have had the single best line in the entire movie, but it’s Skinny Pete. I just can’t get behind the idea of calling his moment with Jesse the most emotional scene in El Camino. The Jane scene didn’t do much for me. I understand that she was crucial to Breaking Bad in many different ways, but I was always a bigger fan of Andrea.

The only correct answer here is Jesse and Walt, and I’m borderline offended that you even had to ask. Don’t even get me started on the fact that this wasn’t your pick. The Walt/Jesse dynamic is what Breaking Bad was built on. The connected past as Teacher and Student at J.P. Wynne High School. The amusing, annoyed banter and name-calling. The volatile, ever-changing relationship where they were simultaneously each other’s greatest ally and most dangerous enemy.

The Jesse/Walt flashback scene in El Camino takes us back to a crucial moment in the Breaking Bad chronology. At this time, Walt is not long removed from having seen his most recent cancer scan, and what he saw was what appeared to be a large mass on his lung. In Walt’s mind, his time was running out, so he and Jesse planned a four-day non-stop meth cooking getaway in order to make sure that his family would be left with something once he was gone.

What we see in El Camino is what happened after their cook was completed. Walt and Jesse leave their hotel and head to breakfast together, presumably not knowing if they’ll see each other again after this encounter, given Walt’s mistaken self-diagnosis. In this diner scene, we get everything we could possibly want out of the lone interaction between Bad’s two most important characters in El Camino. We get introspective Walt, looking back on his own life with regret and encouraging Jesse to make something more of his once the meth business is behind them. We get Jesse — delivering his trademark “Yeah Bitch” in response to a plate overflowing with pineapple — beaming with so much more confidence and arrogance and life before he was broken down by life itself over the course of the following year. And of course, we get a few those deliciously hilarious moments of generational/ideological communication hiccups that made these two the best duo in television history.

It might not be the most emotional moment, but it’s the most emotionally satisfying moment for the diehard Breaking Bad fan in me.