Some Things The Obi-Wan Kenobi Show Absolutely Needs
With Disney+ here, there is sure to be an enormous amount of Star Wars coming to the platform. Whether it be movies or television shows, we’ll all have more Wars than we know what to do with. Well, I guess watching it all would be an option. (Which I’ll have to do as I already pre-ordered 3 years of Disney+ because I’m complicit in the corporate takeover of our failing “democracy”).
One of the projects already announced is an Obi-Wan Kenobi show with Ewan McGregor reprising his role as Kenobi. This news had nerds like me everywhere thinking in their heads, “Hello there!” It is welcome news because despite some things about the prequels being, shall we say, rough, one of the things that will always hold up is McGregor’s performance as Obi-Wan Kenobi. So, we have a ton of excited fans, and we have Ewan McGregor. What we don’t have is really any idea what the show will be about, with the only detail we know being that it will take place roughly 8 years after Return of the Jedi.
I’d like to think I know what’s best for this show, and like the Jedi, my hubris will probably be my downfall. But since it’s a risk I’m willing to take, here are some of my ideas for what this show should be and the elements or people that should make an appearance:
Hayden Christensen
I would sell my soul to any demonic creature who would take it if it meant I could have Hayden Christensen back in Star Wars. Despite what many of the goobers on the internet say, Hayden is incredibly dope as Anakin Skywalker. The dialogue in the prequels does not give him a lot to work with, but he still manages to bring levity and fun to the character early on in the movies, and tragedy later on in Revenge of the Sith. He makes Anakin’s fall to the dark heartbreaking while making him likeable enough in the beginning that you can accept Vader’s redemption in ROTJ. Even if he isn’t the best actor in the world he is Anakin Skywalker and I love him so very much. I’d argue that there’s a reason he has “Christ” in his name. Actually he’s probably done more for the culture than Jesus ever did. He’s perfect.
There’s a good chance we’ll see Hayden in the upcoming Rise of Skywalker but whatever his screen time ends up being, if any, it will not be enough. Please put him in the Obi-wan series. I don’t care if it comes in the form of flashbacks, bad dreams, or even if he has to play a completely new character that Obi-wan interacts with, just give me Hayden Christensen you cowards.
PTSD Post War Drama
This show will probably be a light-hearted action adventure show with Obi-wan helping the rebellion from the shadows on Tatooine. Some quips, some lightsaber fights, and call it a day. It should actually be something very different.
This show should be dark. Like soul-crushing, suck your heart out of your body through a black hole dark. Obi-wan fights on the losing side of a war where he sees almost everyone he’s ever loved, including his best-friend, die at the hands of an evil regime led by a dude who can throw lightning out of his hands. There’s really no coming back from that psychologically. Plus, look how terribly Obi-wan aged in just 19 (!!!) years:
Those are clearly an extremely tough 19 years for him, and the story of the show should reflect that. We need to see Obi-wan waking up from nightmares cutting up his home with his lightsaber, sure he’s in another fight for his life. He’ll probably need to be spending a lot of time at cantinas, keeping his demons at bay with a bottle of Ardees.
PTSD would obviously be a huge hurtle for Obi-wan to overcome. Maybe he could find love among the deserts of Tatooine, and that person could help him pull himself up from the maw of despair he’s found himself in. Imagine a shot of Obi-wan looking out over the endless desert, a single tear in his eye as he whispers “Anakin hated the sand.” Chills. Whatever form it takes, this show should lay on the drama thick. I want to be crying every episode like I’m watching This is Us.
Boba Fett
Boba Fett does almost nothing in the Star Wars films. He could probably win an award for “coolest looking character who is actually the worst at his job.” He could also win another award for “character who does nothing but is somehow a fan favorite.” People fucking love Boba Fett, so give the people what they want. Let’s make Boba Fett a real badass instead of a pretend badass.
There was allegedly a Boba Fett movie in the works, but that was cancelled, most likely because the flagship show for Disney+ is called The Mandalorian, and it is about a Mandalorian/bounty hunter who is not Boba Fett. How do we give the OG Mandalorian some actual cool guy things to do? Put him in the Obi-wan show!
Give me Boba Fett as a sometimes enemy, sometimes ally to Obi-wan and I’ll give you as many hours of my time as you need. There’s not a lot better than a character whose allegiances you can never really pin down.
(If you really want the fandom to explode in collective glee, have Boba somehow learn the secret to surviving a sarlacc pit).
Pod Racing
Bring back the motherfucking pod racing. Sports in Star Wars was a wonderful decision on George Lucas’ part. Not only sports but gambling! In Star Wars! Genius! After Obi-wan goes on a three night bender, I don’t see any reason why he can’t stop by the Boonta Eve Classic to catch some of the action and make a wager or two. Hell, this show should have a three episode arc solely about a pod race tournament. Let’s get Ben Quadinaros some damn redemption, he deserves it.
Those are all of the elements needed to make the Obi-wan Kenobi show perfect. Really one or two of those things would be perfect too. Alright, fine, all the show really needs to be perfect is Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen. Just please, for the love of the Jedi, don’t mention midi-chlorians even one time.
