The Decade-End College Basketball Superlatives

Perhaps it’s no secret that I have a love-hate relationship with college sports. In this case, the “hate” has everything to do with the greedy, corrupt governing body that oversees the competitive landscape and regulates the student athletes that is also known as the National Collegiate Athletic Association. I have a bone to pick with them, but this isn’t the time or the place.

(The time will be December 23rd, the place is right here on Bingeable, and if it was a secret that I hate the NCAA, well the secret will be out on the 23rd of December)

But today I’d like to focus on the good times, and as the title states, I’ll be handing out (sweet) sixteen superlatives designed to celebrate the decade that was in College Hoops.

The College Kids Just Care More Award — Aaron Craft

I don’t necessarily buy into the idea that college players play harder than professional players do. My theory is that NBA players are just so talented that even when they are giving maximum effort it looks like the game comes easy to them. Think about it like this: remember what it was like watching Usain Bolt run in the 100-meter dash at the Olympics? Up against other world class athletes who are straining and sprinting and digging to try to get to that finish line in the fastest time possible, Bolt looked like he was just gliding, like he was on a stroll through the park, even taking the time to smile at other patrons who are passing by. But that didn’t mean that Usain Bolt was out there goofing around. He was still running a 9.7 on the reg.

With all of that said, Aaron Craft is the one dude who consistently made me think, “Alright, this shit just means more to him than anybody else who is stepping on a basketball court anywhere in the world right now.” And yes, some of that had to do with the fact that when you look at Craft, it’s quite evident that he’s not someone who can just effortlessly glide through a basketball game. He’s an inch taller than me, south of 200 lbs. and it’s not like he was an athlete with terrific measurables, though he was a very successful duel-threat high school quarterback in Ohio. But his game was largely hustle plays and savvy and effort and elbow grease. He dove for loose balls, took charges and moved his feet to stay in front of his man. I assume that the Ohio State student body came to the arena early to watch Craft do pre-game defensive slides, similar how fans are eager to watch Stephen Curry causally knock down 35-foot bombs before he did so during games.

Craft was a four-time Big Ten All-Defense selection and he was twice named Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year. Even after he left college, Craft continued locking fools up and being an all-around pest. He’s won Defensive Player of the Year in the D-League and the LNB Pro A league in France.

The You Don’t Look Like A College Basketball Player Award — Przemek Karnowski

Przemek Karnowski looks like if you had a English teacher in High School who just so happened to be seven feet tall, and you assumed that because he was a giant he must’ve hooped when he was younger, but then in the Students vs. Staff game he goes out there and dribbles the ball like Stanley Hudson and sweats profusely and falls over multiple times in the three minutes he plays.

Instead, Przemek — pronounced “Shemick” — started at Center and was a steadying presence for Gonzaga for three seasons. By the time his career ended, the big Pole had played the fifth-most games in NCAA history.

The You Don’t Look Like A Great College Basketball Player Award — Frank Kaminsky

A slightly more prestigious award than the one that Przemek took home, Kaminsky deserves a greater deal of recognition because even though he looks like he should be working at one of the last operating Blockbuster locations in America, he instead spent four years at the University of Wisconsin helping to solidify the Badgers as one of the most consistent programs in the Big Ten.

The 2014–15 consensus Player of the Year brought everything I personally would want a college basketball player to bring to the table. He was an adored teammate and the best player on a memorable contending team that made the Final Four twice and the National Championship Game once. He raised his game when it mattered most … in the final twelve games of his career he averaged 21 points, 8 rebounds and 3 assists per game, leading Wisconsin to a Big Ten Title and the National Championship Game. He was a total goofball — if the Napoleon Dynamite looks didn’t give that away — who went viral for 3 hours in 2015 when he celebrated Wisconsin’s seeding in the NCAA Tournament by rubbing the Big Ten Championship Trophy like a total creep. And the cherry on top of the Sundae: Frank Kaminsky despises the NCAA. That’s not speculation, that’s an exact Kaminsky quote. I adore the guy.

The Jesus Christ You’re A Giant Award — Tacko Fall

One of the things that make College Basketball so great are the behemoths who pop up on mid-majors from time to time. I like these guys because the fact that they’re playing for a mid-major school usually indicates that the extent of their basketball skillset is being tall. They move like they’re sneakers are cinder blocks, they can’t shoot, maybe they can finish at the rim with consistency or possess some semblance of footwork in the paint, but their greatest skill is being built as if they’re standing on stilts and have broom sticks for arms.

Everything about Tacko Fall makes him seem like he’s an NBA Live Create-a-Player. His build, his name, his backstory. Fall was born in Senegal and didn’t have any interest in playing basketball until he was 16 years old, when he began training with Hakeem Olajuwon after moving to the United States. He eventually enrolled at the University of Central Florida where he became a national sensation ahead of his senior year. Fall finished his four-year career with averages of 10.1 points, 7.7 rebounds and 2.4 blocks per game.

The most impressive numbers Tacko Fall put up came at the NBA Draft Combine, where he set the record for tallest measured height (7’7”), largest wingspan (8 feet, 2.25 inches) and highest standing reach (10 feet, 2.5 inches, which wasn’t a surprise because Tacko is the kind of specimen who can dunk a basketball while not doing anything more than standing on his tippy-toes). That’s right. When Tacko Fall stands on his tippy toes and extends his arms he can dunk a basketball. When you or I do that, we can maybe reach into the middle of the highest shelf in the kitchen.

The “It’s Us” Mascot Doppelganger Award — Deniz Kilicli

Most mascots are some sort of animal, likely a bird or a cat of some kind, and that makes the non-animal mascots all the more special. What’s even better: when the mascot of a school is based off of a human being or human-looking species, because that gives us plenty of candidates to choose from when selecting the winner of the “It’s Us” Mascot Doppelganger Award. The Murray State Racers mascot is a racehorse, and while Ja Morant doesn’t look like a horse, he certainly ran as fast as one. Notre Dame big man Jack Cooley was no doubt Irish, and former Hoosier Cody Zeller looks like the human embodiment of the state of Indiana. Purdue’s Ryan Cline looks like he could’ve been a boilermaker in a past life, and Stephen F. Austin’s Thomas Walkup — the runner-up in this category — may be a Lumberjack right now for all I know. A handsome lumberjack, but a lumberjack still.

But the runaway winner for this award is former West Virginia Mountaineer Deniz Kilicli. Kilicli is supposedly from Turkey, but my theory is that the University athletic department plucked Kilicli right out of the Appalachians while on a search for their next mascot, and then when Bob Huggins discovered that he had a feathery soft touch around the basket Kilicli added him to the active roster.

The Best Four Years of Your Life Award — Frank Mason

The criteria for this award not only requires that a player goes to college for as long as I did, but it also needs to feel, from a fan’s perspective, like they were in college for far longer than just four short years. For reference, that pesky Aaron Craft, a four-year contributor at Ohio State, was a finalist for this award. Phil Booth from Villanova, Brice Johnson from North Carolina, Josh Perkins from Gonzaga, Phil Forte III from Oklahoma State, and the entire 2015 Wisconsin Badgers starting line-up were also in consideration.

But it’s only right that this award stays in Lawrence, Kansas since there is a long lineage of KU Point Guards who wore that Jayhawk uniform for four years and were seemingly there for at least six seasons. Aaron Miles, Sherron Collins, Tyshawn Taylor, Frank Mason, and Devonte Graham have all passed the torch to one another over the years as the “Wait, he’s still in college?” Guy, and this decade Mason was the most successful of the bunch. Mason was a three-time All-Big 12 selection and he collected nearly Player of the Year Award available for his play during the 2016–17 season. Most importantly, Mason has logged the 2nd-most games in Big 12 history, edged out only by fellow Jayhawk Tyshawn Taylor.

The Luther Vandross Award — Kris Jenkins

Only one team can cut down the nets each year at the conclusion of the NCAA Tournament, and only one player can be the recipient of the Luther Vandross Award for Best March Madness Moment of the Decade. And since this is the case, it would be silly to look at anyone beyond Kris Jenkins.

Kris Jenkins is somehow the unheralded guy on that 2015–16 Villanova roster. The man who pushed the ball up the floor and made the pass to Jenkins, Ryan Arcidiacono, won the 2016 NCAA Tournament MOP. Josh Hart was twice a Wooden Award Finalist and won the Big East Tournament MVP two times. Donte DiVincenzo would go on to win the 2018 NCAA Tournament MOP, and Jalen Brunson was the consensus National Player of the Year in 2018. But Jenkins’s game-winning triple was the shot that netted Villanova their first National Title since 1985. It is the “one shining moment” where it all quiet literally was on the line. And it’s the one shining moment that will forever be frozen in time.

The Functional Maravich’s Award — Greg and Doug McDermott

From the sounds of it, the Press Maravich/Pete Maravich dynamic was like if LaVar Ball got his wish and was allowed to coach his son’s at UCLA. When Pete was young, his father told him that he would shoot him with a 45-caliber gun if he ever drank or got in trouble in High School. Press, the Head Coach of the LSU Tigers basketball team, told his son Pete that if he didn’t sign the scholarship offer that LSU made him that he would never be allowed in his house again. During games Press would openly and frequently implore Pete not to pass the ball to his teammates, and instead to shoot it himself. It’s a shame that Press was never able to create a failed sneaker brand that Pete would eventually try to distance himself from.

Fortunately for all of us, the Ball Family didn’t end up being the go-to example of a successful amateur hoops family in the 2010’s. For four years Doug McDermott played for his giant oak tree of a father Greg at Creighton, and while he was a Blue Jay “McBuckets” became the first player in over 30 years to come within 600 points of Pistol Pete’s career scoring total. The best part about it … we weren’t subjected to constant stories about how the two McDermott’s found a balance between father/son and coach/player. The only story of note was the one Doug McDermott wrote for The Players Tribune three years after finishing up his time at Creighton, which I’m sure was much more heartfelt than any moment between Lonzo and LaVar on “Ball in the Family.”

The Stephen Curry Cult Hero Award — Jimmer Fredette

With all due respect to Dougie Buckets, if we’re talking about scoring prowess in the 2010’s there’s only one dude who permits lengthy discussion. Now while nobody is more responsible for the three-point revolution than Stephen Curry is, I was a freshman in college when Jimmer Mania was at it’s height, and before “Curry Range” was a thing, white dudes like me who were playing pick-up all over the country were trying to bury triples from “Jimmer Range.”

I’ve embedded a video of Jimmer Fredette highlights because he’s really the one guy mentioned from this previous decade that you needed to watch to properly appreciate. This award is given to the mid-major player who put his team on his back and captured the attention of the college basketball world — and for what it’s worth, this would be the Adam Morrison Cult Hero Award if it weren’t for the Davidson Wildcats Elite Eight run in 2008. Here’s how I know Jimmer was the only rational winner: My Mom is a basketball fan, but she doesn’t watch college basketball. She sticks to NBA. But in 2010–11, she knew who Jimmer Fredette was. Sure, she didn’t know his name, but she referred to him as “the cute boy from BYU.” He’s probably the only college basketball player she’s known over the last decade, and he’s one of the few who could plausibly be called “the cute boy.”

The I Hate Christian Laettner Memorial Award — Grayson Allen

I mean, if any Duke player has ever looked like a Duke player, it’s definitely Grayson Allen.

The You Should’ve Played for Duke Award — J.P. Macura

And if any non-Duke player has ever looked like a Duke player, it’s definitely J.P. Macura.

The Cinderella Incarnate Award — Sister Jean

Ah yes, Sister Jean, the Loyola Ramblers delightful good luck charm/team chaplain/unofficial mascot. Jean Dolores Schmidt was born on August 21, 1919. Three years later the first Disney-produced Cinderella short film was released. She literally outdates Cinderella on American film. She was 31 years old before “Cinderella Story” started being applied to sports situations.

At the young age of 98 years old, Sister Jean became a national phenomenon almost overnight. She was adorable, always giddy, incredibly insightful, and in three short works she surpassed Manti Te’o’s imaginary girlfriend as the most impactful and discussed female in the last decade men’s college sports. Sure, it overshadowed the beautiful brand of basketball that Porter Moser had his Ramblers playing on the biggest stage in college hoops, but I don’t think any of those guys will mind that they shared the spotlight with Sister Jean.

The Dynamic Duo Award — Ty Jerome/Kyle Guy

One of the most remarkable sports stories of the last ten years is the tale of what happened to the Virginia Cavaliers men’s basketball team in back-to-back NCAA Tournaments in 2018 and 2019. What happened in those tournaments is the real life equivalent of being left at the altar by the woman you loved, but then meeting someone you love in such a deeper and more meaningful way and marrying her 13 months later. Granted, I’ve never been married or engaged, nor have I played in a basketball tournament with such stakes that it’s likely comparable to the joy you experience when you marry the person you love or the pain you feel when the person you love lets you know they don’t love you anymore by not showing up to marry you, but it’s the best comparison I could come up with.

Virginia became the first #1 seed in NCAA Tournament history to lose to a #16 seed. Actually, let’s run that back. Virginia, the #1 overall seed in the 2018 NCAA Tournament, got straight mollywhopped by the UMBC Retrievers, the second-best team in the America East Conference during the 2017–18 regular season. Virginia entered the game as a 20.5-point favorite and lost by 20 points.

One year later, after dealing with a brutal ACC schedule and the not-so-quiet whispers all season long that were pondering whether the Cavaliers would be so traumatized and potentially broken by the end result of the previous year that a deep tournament run would be possible this time around, Virginia snatched victory from the jaws of defeat not once, not twice, but three times on the way to an improbable National Championship. Leading the way for Virginia was the nation’s best backcourt, Kyle Guy and Ty Jerome, the two leaders on that 2017–18 team that took that loss to UMBC squarely on the chin. The way those two responded in the face of constant criticism and doubt was just astounding.

The Tell Me Again Why We Aren’t Paying College Athletes Award — Zion Williamson

Alright, I know I said that this wasn’t going to be an attack on the NCAA, but this is a type of madness that is even more maddening than March Madness, because it’s year-round and never-ending. Each year there are countless athletes who provide more for their school than their school provides for them, and never has that been truer than with Zion Williamson and Duke.

What in the actual fuck kind of system is this if Zion Williamson — who became arguably the biggest singular draw in all of sports during his one season at Duke — can’t sign autographs and make a few bucks, can’t get a cut of the $110 that Duke University makes whenever they sell a “Duke #1” jersey, or can’t sign an endorsement deal while he’s still in college?

Seriously, if he didn’t already, Coach K should’ve dipped into the $7 million he made from Duke last year and gifted Zion some stacks of cash for coming to Duke and doing enough to fool people into believing that he’s still a great basketball coach, not just a great recruiter.

The One and Done Award — Anthony Davis

With all due respect to Zion Williamson, the most successful and dominant Freshman of the decade was Kentucky’s Anthony Davis. Zion may have put up better numbers (23 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks, 68% FG, 40.8 PER for Zion … 14 points, 10 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal, 5 blocks, 62% FG, 35.1 PER for Davis), and he certainly received far more hype and fanfare than AD, but I was there for both, I enjoyed watching both, and Davis was the superior player, and heading into the NBA, I feel like he was the superior Draft prospect too.

I know that take will likely ruffle some feathers, especially given the way most fans currently feel about these two players — Zion is the new bouncy, bright and shiny object that basketball fans eyes are gravitating towards, and Davis is the “villain” who forced his way out of New Orleans to join LeBron James on the hated Lakers — but it’s the truth. It was a blast to watch Zion jump passing lanes, plow through defenders, rocket launches off the ground to volleyball spike shots into the stands, and ruin rims all across America. Shit, I declared him the most likeable Duke player “by many, many miles” despite the fact that his scowl + stiff arms back-pedal celebration is V weird.

Davis wasn’t as flashy nor was he as intimidating. A lanky dude with a unibrow isn’t nearly as menacing as a 6’7” bolder with arms and legs and a head. Davis was as heralded during his Freshman season at Kentucky as Zion was at Duke though. AD, like Zion, won just about every Player of the Year Award imaginable, but he’s got the one that Zion failed to get, in large part due to Tom Izzo’s thorough beatdown of Mike Krzyzewski in the Elite Eight. But Davis capped his one season in Lexington with a National Championship and the Most Outstanding Player Award.

This may sound hypocritical coming from me, Mr. Championships Shouldn’t Be the Measure of a Player’s Legacy, but this is my column and I can do what I want. Plus, Zion did go to Duke and if I can rile up Blue Devils fans, I can’t pass up that opportunity.

The Cut Down The Nets Award — Kemba Walker

This award celebrates the player who raised their game when they were competing in tournaments … early-season tourney’s, conference tourney’s, and March Madness are all included. We can expand the pool of players eligible for this award as many decades back as you’d like and there probably isn’t a better option than Kemba Walker.

The Connecticut Huskies entered the 2010–11 season unranked. Their championship odds were 40 to 1. They ended the regular season as the 9th best team in a loaded Big East Conference. Altogether, they played 41 games that season. In non-tournament games the Huskies were a modest 18–9. In tournament games — the Maui Invitational, the Big East Tournament and the NCAA Tournament — UConn was a perfect 14–0.

In those 14 games, Kemba Walker averaged nearly 26 points per game, a mark that would’ve been second in the country behind only that cute boy from BYU. Not only did Kemba fill it up, he filled it up when it mattered most. He made every single huge shot that Connecticut needed him to make, and on the way to a National Championship he had to make plenty of them.

This was the kind of run that makes the win-or-go-home nature of the NCAA Tournament so special. It was a run that, as the video states, immortalized Kemba Walker.

There may be players who will have better start to finish careers than Kemba, or maybe even more prolific single seasons. But it’s hard to imagine anyone carrying his team three times up the ladder to cut down the nets.