How to Be Courageous in Loving and Being Vulnerable
An interview with Cristina Costantino — Founder of Love Squared Alcheme
I met Cristina in an intensive online group program for Healers, Creatives, and Entrepreneurs who want to own their value more, and I was just very moved by the sheer healing power radiating from Cristina’s Heart Alcheme Kits. So I approached her and asked if I could take a peek at her Human Design Chart, and interview her about her personal and business transformations! She said, “Yes!”
More about Cristina Costantino
Cristina has been on a tremendous spiritual ride for close to six years.
Her mainstream, urban life exploded in 2014 after meeting her Twin Flame, triggering her to leave everything she’d built behind, including a 15+ year career in Advertising — to focus on healing her heart.
That work on herself led her to find the healer and artist that had been hidden within. In 2015, at 38, she published her first book — Who Broke The Girl? — narrated from the perspective of her soul.
She then went on to become an intuitive energy healer and guide.
Continuing to evolve, at 42, she picked up a paintbrush for the very first time, and she now paints the HEART. Transforming over 70 of them into digital tool kits, each one uniquely shows and heals the wounds that have hit everyone’s heart across all time. In 2019, she published her second book — REBORN — which acts as a guide, leading one back to an innate faith in love.
“My business is called Love Squared Alcheme.
The name, as well as the ‘WHY’ behind the business, is rooted in helping bring more love into people’s lives, and into this world. I strive to help people see and heal the wounds within them that are blocking love and are keeping them from tapping into the deep self-love they have for themselves.
That innate love that we all have within us, which once tapped will then help everyone let more love into their lives from outside of them — either through a relationship with a partner, with friends, family, colleagues…really, everybody and anybody in the world. “
A Quick Mini Analysis of Cristina’s Chart
Here is a brief analysis that is connected to our main themes of love, vulnerability, and courage.
Cristina is a Manifesting Generator with a Motorized throat that is connected to both the Identity Center and The Sacral Center.
Motorized Throat connected to Identity Center
This connection between her Throat and Identity Centers enables her to express deeply from her soul, which can often feel very vulnerable.
Being defined in her Identity Center (diamond shape in the center of her chart) means that people around her can readily sense her fixed identity and quality of love that she radiates to others. In particular, she has a consistent relationship with her love of humanity and nature (Gate 15), body (Gate 46), and Spirit (Gate 25).
She is who she is and she is not designed to blend in with others. When she fully embraces her fixed identity (who she is), sometimes by leaving places, situations, and people who do not allow her to be who she is, she can then attract new places, situations, and people that continue to allow her to embrace who she is.
Open Will Center
I’m also so fascinated by Cristina’s completely open Will Center (small triangle next to the diamond in her chart). The energetic challenge of this is that she can feel deeply what others value and are motivated by, and feel unsure about the value she provides through her offerings because she’s sensing what they feel so acutely, which makes it difficult for her to feel and prioritize what she needs for herself over what they need. The wisdom of the open Will Center is that as she witnesses how different people value and push their way to get what they want and need, she can compare, define, and have more clarity on what is truly most valuable for her, and to trust that she is worthy by just being who she is. The Will Center is connected to our physical hearts too, which reminds me of the powerful healing heart paintings that she creates, especially the one about the Heart of Value.
Defined Spleen Center
I see that Cristina has a Defined Spleen (left large triangle near the bottom of the chart) with many defined gates too. The Defined Spleen is about having a very keen sense of our caveman instincts, knowing what keeps us safe in each moment. Each of the gates in the Spleen center also represents a specific type of fear that keeps us from taking action, but as long as we honor our instincts and move forward anyway, those fears will dissipate. Cristina is very open in sharing her fears. In a way, the defined Spleen represents both fears and courage as well.
Here are a few excerpts on what Cristina has so generously shared about being vulnerable, loving, and courageous. At the time of our interview, she was enjoying her morning in New York, while I was having a peaceful night in Singapore.
What is it like expressing deeply within your soul and feeling vulnerable about it?
Here is a short snippet on what she shared about being vulnerable:
When I was doing my longer YouTube videos, they were so vulnerable. They were all about my soul, my wounds, what had or was happening that I found painful and was overcoming, really everything. There were no limits on what I would share. I would really open up and share very personal stuff — to help others who were going through something similar — and actually, doing that so openly, and so publicly is one of the things I had to overcome in this life.
I was hiding for the first 40 years of my life. I would hide in other people’s shadows, next to friends whom I went everywhere with, and in work, I would try to hide within teams.
I would never say “I”, it was always “we”. I was unsuccessful though because who I was always made me stand out. Then a few years after I started healing, I started getting signs from Spirit that I had to come out and create YouTube videos, and I absolutely resisted it because I’ve never wanted to be on stage.
I’ve always had a fear of being seen, but I kept getting the signs and I couldn’t ignore them, so I came out in the videos, and it was really hard. But I also loved it! I found it to be extremely rewarding, so I kept going.
Bingz: It is so important to find the right balance of being vulnerable so that you inspire instead of burden others.
I found that being that vulnerable definitely resonated with people, but I pulled back from doing it because I started to feel I was still too wounded and my vulnerability wasn’t helping me or them.
I think we can help people more widely by sharing our stories, but what I learned is that we first have to heal the wounds, then we can talk about where we were.
When you share your wounds with people and make yourself that vulnerable while you’re still healing it’s almost like asking them to help you…there’s an underlying energy of what you need…instead of coming from a place of strength and wholeness, which says to them, ”I can hold you and help you through this.”
How do you cope with feeling competition from others?
I’ve always acutely felt the competition and comparison vibe in the world and it’s something that I’ve realized I have a deep subconscious fear of. After I started healing, I found I had this fear of other people’s jealousy and competitiveness. I don’t feel competitive, but I used to find myself comparing myself to others, more to define myself. And I also found myself over humbling myself in order to give other people a leg up, to help them feel better about themselves.
I’ve dimmed my own light out of a fear that other people will think I’m showing off or out of a fear of making others feel bad about themselves…
I’ve energetically healed for that fear of what people’s reactions to me would be, as well as for the fear of other people’s judgment, but I also actively took 3D steps to face and break those fears. I pushed myself to post what I was afraid would cause people to think that I’m egotistical, or I think a lot of myself, or I’m full of myself. I have had a fear of other women, especially, seeing those posts and thinking that I think I’m better than them. I think it’s based in past lives and is baseless in this one, as most fears are, so to counter it…I shined. I purposely shined my light, I decided…I’m not going to dim my light anymore…
I don’t need to dim my light to make other people feel better about themselves. I need to shine it brightly and those who resonate will resonate with it.
Bingz: I feel that this phrase “Shine my Light” means to really embrace who you are (your Defined Identity Center), and in doing so you will energetically attract people who resonate with who you are.
What are your thoughts about the energies of blame and guilt rampant in society?
I think that there’s a fear in this society that if we don’t blame and shame and guilt people, then everybody will go wild and there’ll be mayhem and disorder. Instead of helping people, instead of reaching out with love, instead of helping them overcome their problems, we want to blame them, shame them, and guilt them. We’d rather put them in prison then help them heal.
Fundamentally, I think that if we could clear those harder energies of blame, shame, and guilt within ourselves, then we will stop throwing those energies onto other people. Then more love can encompass us…can heal us…and can change this world.
Bingz: To me, guilt and shame can manifest when we fail to embrace we who are (Identity Center). Love is also part of the Identity Center!
I had so much guilt, self-blame, and shame ingrained in me from childhood. I was born carrying the heavyweight of those energies from centuries of past lives! Until I healed all of that, I could not feel unconditional self-love for myself.
I thought I loved myself but now that I’ve healed so much and have been able to feel the true, blissful self-love that is possible…now I know that for the first 40 years of my life, I never felt true love for myself.
Can you share more about your Twin Flame love?
Six years ago I met my Twin Flame and it was everything that you hear about Twin Flames. It was absolute bliss, unconditional love, and beauty.
After we separated, after he was shamed quite a lot for our love, I became incredibly inspired by him. I could feel his shame, self-blame, and guilt and I knew that it was blocking his light and keeping him and his beauty.
This beautiful man who is the definition of love and goodness…from shining. Him being shamed and blamed had turned him into a shell of who he was, and seeing that and then feeling those feelings — his shame and all of the rest — has inspired me for the past six years to heal everything.
It also inspired me to see all of that within myself because as Twin Flames we share an energy body so we share all of the same wounding.
Because of him I was able to see all of that in myself and heal it. And I have been absolutely dedicated, committed, and inspired to heal absolutely everything that is blocking love.
Because I’ve seen it block him and block me and block our love, and I will not stop until I heal everything that is blocking our love, and I want to do that for everybody in this world.
I’ve seen and felt that true love and then I have seen and felt how this world blames and shames and guilts that love to separate it. I want everyone to have and to feel the love that they are meant to feel. The love that is their birthright.
What are your deepest fears in your business?
My entire Instagram feed is me overcoming my fears by posting everything that I’m afraid to say, in order to make the fears dissolve.
I do have a fear of being attacked which is really ridiculous because I know I’m not going to be attacked. I know it’s past-life related which is why I keep putting out the things that I’m most afraid of people hearing me say.
I also have a recent fear of being as open as I was early on, to share my wounds because I have a fear of being misunderstood.
I find that when you’re really vulnerable some people will, for lack of a better word, be condescending and dismissive in their responses. They don’t take the time to see and understand the complexity of the emotions and the energy before responding.
Instead, they seem to jump to, “you’re wounded and I’m going to say this to help ‘fix’ you.” Without giving me — and possibly others out there — the benefit of the doubt that I’ve already gone incredibly deep and seen around a lot of the corners within me.
It really bothers me because I’ve found it to feel very dis-empowering to have someone tell you something about yourself — something you’ve already seen from ten different angles — and to assume you’ve never seen it in yourself before. What I’ve felt is it comes from people who need to validate their own power and abilities and who don’t realize that by doing it in that way, they could be disempowering the other person.
When I work with people — when I respond to people — I strive to do the opposite: I want to empower them, so I always give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they know themselves.
I’m always very careful about how I approach what I’m relaying to them. I’ll caveat my responses with, ”I’m sure that you know this” or “you may already be aware of this.”
I don’t ever go in assuming they don’t already know something about themselves. It’s a small shift that makes a big difference. I’m all about empowerment for everyone. I want everyone’s light to shine as bright as it’s meant to!
That’s true love.
Ways to connect with Cristina
Thank you Cristina for being so open and honest in sharing your passion, your wounds, your fears, and the way you share about love.
You may connect with Cristina through these links: