Girls, Be Iterative!
Let go of the obsession with being effortlessly perfect and start embracing our own failures as opportunities for growth
Never be ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth.
— Taylor Swift
A lot of women aspire to be “effortlessly perfect.”
We yearn to possess intelligence without the need for studying, a slim figure without the necessity of exercising, and popularity without exerting any effort.
The term “effortlessly perfect” was coined by the 2003 Duke Women’s Initiative Report to describe the pressure of being flawless among college students and has since been particularly used by women.
Why is this fixation on being perfect without any effort stronger for women?
Women often have a fear of achieving outcomes that aren’t outstanding and being subjected to judgment by others. This fear stems from the fact that women tend to face severe criticism for minor flaws as they grow.
As a result, an ‘inner critic’ begins to develop in our minds, constantly threatening and discouraging us with negative thoughts whenever we attempt something new.
This leads us to become defensive and develop a fantasy of perfection, longing to bypass the challenging process.
Media, including movies, TV shows, and books, often have a tendency to highlight stories of “born geniuses” while neglecting to portray those who diligently develop their skills step by step.
This can lead us astray, making us believe that if we lack innate talent, there’s no point in even beginning.
However, here’s the reality: Reaching the state of Effortlessness we desire actually demands a tremendous amount of Effort.
Even geniuses cannot achieve outstanding results without putting in any effort.
If we are not one-in-a-million geniuses, it becomes even more crucial for us to learn how to constantly strive to revise and improve our work, embracing failure as an integral part of the process.
Learn from experimental innovators to overcome self-doubt
According to common belief, it seems like you have to be a born genius to become an artist. But that’s not necessarily true.
In Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast, “Revisionist History,” he explains two different creative styles.
There are conceptual innovators who pour out their ideas based on innate talent, and there are also experimental innovators who engage in countless practice and revisions.
Mozart can be considered a typical example of an effortlessly genius. The inspirations were already fully formed in his mind, and he simply transcribed them onto sheet music.
That’s why Mozart’s manuscript remains clean without any revisions.
However, Beethoven didn’t stop at transcribing the melodies onto sheet music; he continued to revise. This is why Beethoven’s manuscript bears the marks of numerous improvements.
Picasso had such abundant talent that anything he drew turned into a masterpiece, but Cézanne would create hundreds of sketches and carefully select the best ones to develop further.
Herman Melville swiftly completed “Moby-Dick”, but Mark Twain would dedicate significant time to writing, rewriting, and editing his works.
I have observed many women who hesitate to even start because they believe they lack the ability for conceptual innovation.
However, how many geniuses like Mozart actually exist? We should stop comparing ourselves to one-in-a-million-born geniuses and instead take action.
The concept of iteration
Iteration: the process of doing something again and again, usually to improve it, or one of the times you do it.
I majored in software engineering in university and learned about Iteration.
Unlike hardware development, which involves meticulous planning and following predefined processes, software development is much more flexible, allowing for agile approaches.
The concept of Iteration is to try things out first. It involves putting something out into the world, observing people’s reactions, and collecting data to apply the learnings to the next iteration.
The more we iterate and learn from failures, the better software we can create.
Discovering the concept of Iteration during my school years truly changed my life. Before that, I used to avoid starting anything if I couldn’t achieve perfection.
However, after understanding and embracing the concept of Iteration, I realized that any failure can be an opportunity for learning.
It gave me the courage to try new things, knowing that failures are not setbacks but stepping stones for growth.
How I became a writer with iterative approach
I have loved writing since I was little, but I have never thought that I had enough talent to become a writer.
There have been times in my early twenties when I felt disappointed seeing writers of a similar age receiving prestigious literary awards.
Comparing myself to other talented writers was a foolish thing to do, as it could result in discouragement and giving up.
Fortunately, I did not give up. I continued writing, tweeting, and blogging. I collected data on how people responded to my writing, and I learned how to craft my work to make it more appealing to a broader audience.
There were times when nobody read my posts, but I persevered and kept writing.
Over time, one of my blog posts gained positive and widespread attention, and a major publisher reached out to me, leading to the publication of three books in Korea.
My writing is far from perfect. However, I believe in the power of consistent rewriting and iteration. I firmly believe that my writing will continue to improve through numerous iterations.
I do not pretend to be a genius who effortlessly writes. Instead, I emphasize the importance of accumulating small efforts based on my own experiences.
With my story, I want to inspire and give courage to many women to overcome inward and outward criticism.
The First Draft of Anything Is Shit.
— Ernest Hemingway
I hope that many women learn to approach success through the process of practicing, failing, learning, and retrying. It’s about growing iteratively.
Hemingway said he rewrote the first part of ‘A Farewell to Arms’ at least fifty times. And then he added, “You’ve got to work it over. The first draft of anything is shit,” according to Arnold Samuelson’s memoir, With Hemingway: A Year in Key West in Cuba.
It’s fine to start with “Shit.” When we try for the second time, the “Shit” will become a little better. After trying for a while, we can see quite remarkable outcomes.
Let’s say goodbye to the obsession of being effortlessly perfect and move forward iteratively. Women should learn to be more forgiving of their own failures.
