Member-only story
He’s Not the Genius — I Am
What it feels like when people praise your husband for the work you did yourself
I remember the first time it happened. I had just finished speaking at a women’s leadership conference — my first keynote.
I was glowing, not from the spotlight, but from the high that comes with finally stepping into your own voice.
I came off the stage, heart racing, greeted by smiles, handshakes, congratulations.
And then someone said it.
“Your husband must be so proud! He’s such a smart guy — you’re lucky to have him.”
I blinked, smiled politely, nodded. But inside, something twisted.
I had just poured myself into that talk — weeks of outlining, rewriting, rehearsing.
I’d drawn from years of personal experience, academic research, and emotional labor. My story. My ideas. My work. But somehow, in the eyes of this stranger, it wasn’t mine. It was his.
That wasn’t the last time.
It Had Happened to Me Before
It’s happened in casual conversations, like the time someone at a dinner party said, “Well, it’s great you can do what you do with a husband who probably helps you figure out the business…
