Hold On — Read This Before You Enter Into Your Feminine Energy
Are you tapping into your femininity?
I will try to say it as she said it:
A man has to be the provider. That is what makes him a man. Providing makes a man a man and if a woman takes that from him, it emasculates him.
Then my friend continued,
Never take away providing from a man and never help a man stand. When he makes it, he will resent you.
Then she concluded,
When a man provides for you and provides that financial security, it helps you as a woman enter into your femininity. When a man provides as he should, a woman becomes submissive naturally. Providing is masculine energy.
It has been a month at least, since my friend and I sparred over this whole women entering into their femininity and providing for a woman being masculine energy.
What caught me most unaware about this is that I have known this friend almost all of my adult life.
I have taken it for granted that given the many conversations she has shared with me about men who try to use money to control her, she just was the last person I thought would get into this spiel of letting (funny way of putting it) a man provide so that a woman’s femininity is unlocked.
Like, what?
I called her out on this, but after having the same conversation where none of us was changing the other’s mind, I decided to shut up and begin to do more listening. And listening has opened my eyes to how popular the rise of this feminine energy and masculine energy discourse has become.
From the sprinkler woman on YouTube and to Medium, there is a rise in the call for women to enter into their femininity to begin emitting their feminine energy.
Just yesterday on Medium, I read a writer who made a lot of arguments about how “go mentality” is masculine energy.
I was not my most pleasant while exclaiming all over her piece. I got no response either (which I respect) and I figure she has blocked me. If she has, I hope she responds with the same energy.
But, c’mon people — go mentality is now masculine energy? The first piece on “go mentality in my search is from Linkedin which says it is the ability to get things done.
I mean, seriously, how did the whole women’s march for their freedom and their rights lead us to a generation of strong women who believe even remotely that the ability to get things done is masculine energy and women who possess it, turn off men?
I am baffled here.
But what is this whole woman entering into their femininity going all over the place?
According to this wiki explanation on femininity, feminine energy is about women exhibiting:
Traits traditionally cited as feminine include gracefulness, gentleness, empathy, humility, and sensitivity, though traits associated with femininity vary across societies and individuals and are influenced by a variety of social and cultural factors.
Dearest Reader, aren’t women already socialized to be all of the above? Dearest Reader, aren’t those feminine traits cited above already used by the patriarchal society to tell us all about how women are emotional, irrational, and hormonal?
As I researched this feminine energy, I began to realize that it had a life of its own already, as many top Google questions on the topic have shown:
- What does it mean to be a woman in her feminine energy?
- Wikihow asks: How to be in your feminine energy with a man
- How does a woman tap into her feminine energy?
- How do you show feminine energy to a man?
- How to become divine feminine energy
And my personal favourite because I mean — 25?
- 25 ways to be a feminine woman in a relationship (Because being a woman isn’t enough in a heterosexual relationship, anymore).
And so on and so on and so on, leaving me desperately wondering:
Why are so many women willingly pouring more femininity fuel into the raging fires of toxic masculine energy in this patriarchal world order?
Before my friend T got married, she told me that she wanted to marry a man who would provide for her and take care of all her bills.
All the alarms in my head went off. I cautioned her against this until it became a quarrel.
I said you don’t know prison like financial dependence. I do. I said from my experience, Freedom is yours only when you can afford it. But, T blew me off:
She was an adult who knew what she wanted and who wanted what she wanted.
I was just the bitter friend with a failed relationship.
T got her man alright. He told her all about how he would work his ass off to provide all that she wants.
When T wakes in the morning, her biggest worry of the day is to decide where to shop and how best to spend his money while Googling social media for cat pictures (or maybe it was, new Louboutin's…)
It took two months for both dreams to die. T got so much disrespect, that she has called me severally talking about:
How do I make him respect me?
Respect.
And this is exactly what has me on edge with this whole feminine energy that allows men to become providers.
Money is power — have women forgotten this? Money is power. Money is freedom. Have money, you have power. Have money you have freedom. Don’t have money, you don’t have power. Don’t have money, you don’t have freedom.
Ask me how I know and I will ask you to ponder why many of my pieces are about, preparing to leave an abusive relationship or how cruel my abusive partner was to me.
You think if I had financial freedom, I would have put up with half of those?
Woman, money is power. Money is freedom. Letting a man provide just for you to enter into this your femininity and feminine energy…do you not perceive just how costly it will be to you — shortly?
What exactly is the value of this your feminine energy? People pay for value. What makes this your femininity so valuable that a man cheerfully takes on the role of your provider and you both live happily ever after for the rest of your lives?
Whether you believe it or not, financial dependence will cost you and before the fog of your feminine energy clears, you will be scraping the barrel to feed, or if you are like me, added to that, you will receive inspiration to write pieces like 25 ways to recover from a toxic relationship when your feminine energy is over.
“Okwy, you don’t understand. We turn off men because we are giving off masculine energy. We are saying that we don’t need them because whatever they can give us, we can afford for ourselves. That scares them. Men want to feel needed,” I am told.
Again, they tell me,
“Men in their 30s or 40s are out there going after barely legal-age girls,”
According to the preceding argument for why this strengthens the point for a woman to be locked into her feminine energy:
Girls in their teens and early adulthood make these men feel needed. The men provide for them because they feel needed.
As with all things about our society, rather than women placing the problem where it belongs — the middle-aged men preying on young girls, why it is becoming commonplace, and how there should be laws to protect young women, women aren’t doing that.
No.
Women have made the problem theirs to solve and have decided that they are the problem.
I have a question for the women in their feminine energy:
Do you think as a woman in your 30s and 40s or whatever, you can possess more feminine energy than over-enthusiastic 20-year-olds?
If your answer is yes, Why do you want to? What are you trying to prove and why do you want to prove it? What are you competing for and what is the price at the end of it?
Isn’t there, in your opinion, something broken when the competition is to land the attention of a man who goes after much younger girls knowing mostly that their age bracket can look past the many red flags in their behaviour that a more grown woman wouldn’t?
Sadly, I did not change my friend’s mind just as T had to find out for herself that the one who wields the power is the one with the money.
Someone who reads this piece might laugh at how dumb I am, in not tapping into my feminine energy to get more out of men. Maybe they are correct. Someone else may read and decide that my arrogance has blinded me to a conventionally accepted and simple truth. Maybe they are right too.
I wasn’t John The Baptist but in the spirit of the man, I hope to be said of as the woman who went about asking other women:
As a woman who in all likelihood has never been a man, how do you display masculine energy just by existing, having ambitions, and making choices for yourself? Isn’t that just being human? And to prepare for the outcome of their choices.
Life is about choices. After choices come consequences. Maybe people are fine with the consequences.
As a woman who lost her voice and her freedom and was told she had no right to exist outside of the man who wielded the money:
If your feminine energy means you shrink your power, curb your zest for the freedom to live your life, and give over the right to be whatever you desire, you have paid too high a price.
