Why Are We Surprised Women Don’t Report Being Raped and Abused?

Victim blaming, stereotypical judgments, power, and money run deep

Kim Fedyk
Bitchy

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A black and white photo of a woman in the shower, seen from her shoulders up, covering her face as if she’s crying
Photo by Meghan Hessler on Unsplash

“Why didn’t she come forward sooner?”

“She must be lying.”

“She only wants the attention.”

These are common things you hear when a woman comes forward about abuse or rape. After, of course, in-depth discussions around what she was wearing, how much alcohol she had, and what she did to deserve her abuse.

As someone who has suffered from domestic abuse, I know first-hand how hard it is to even have the courage to believe you are being abused and that you deserve better.

Once that hurdle has passed, those women who are brave enough to report their case to the authorities are then met many times with doubt or even blame.

“How much did you have to drink? What were you wearing? Did you make him mad?”

Just look at the example of Collette Martin who was stabbed by her ex-boyfriend 37 times. At the hospital, the doctor had no sympathy for her, instead blaming her for her condition.

“He asked me what I did to deserve what I got. Then proceeded to tell me that these things don’t happen to good girls.”

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Kim Fedyk
Bitchy

Published author, wife and mom. I blog about motherhood, life and my self-publishing journey