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The Gates of Bitcoin

The Gates of Bitcoin don’t actually exist. They are an imaginary construction that exists only in the minds of those that are a slave to those that imagined it.

As a permissionless, censorship-resistant system anyone is welcome to come and go as they please, no matter which role they choose to play: saver, spender, earner, etc. It is the “black” market, in that it is separate, but “white” in that only sanctioned protocol can be enacted within.

Your external incentives to enter the Gates cannot enter, as only your agency can represent them within.

Who will greet you at the Gates of Bitcoin?

You will find an entire bazaar at the Gates of Bitcoin, ready to assist and entertain every fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Alas, it is more like a war zone, a giant pit of ushers in every direction but the one you came for. The Shitcoiners will weave wonderful tapestries of blockchain jargon. The ICO proponents will display amazing contraptions of unknown utility. The Blockchainers come armed with a problem for any solution. The Lords of the Valley will exclaim fantasies of greener grass and higher version numbers. The Maximalists will be chasing out the riff-raff and assisting the wounded.

The Gates are a test of your intentions, your naivety, your ignorance, and your diligence.

The Grandma’s Razor Fallacy

At the Gates of Bitcoin, Grandma’s Razor is a popular weapon of choice. Grandma’s Razor is a principle that states that all progress has a cutting edge where the highest-entropy change is happening. This innovation happens where the razor meets your grandmother’s wrinkly skin, but she is too old and too slow and too behind-the-times to possibly use it safely or willingly.

The Grandma’s Razor Fallacy is the belief that an elitist culture must exist around new technology, to “protect” people from themselves. Adherents believe it is their duty to regulate when a technology is “ready” for any minority demographic they are wont to judge, nanny, or oppress.

The Barkers at the Gate have weaponized Grandma’s Razor to great effect. Distracting value from Bitcoin by way of promises of better “UX”, faster transactions, blockier chains, and less or more of whichever trait compensates for your uncertainty.

Thankfully, humans have demonstrated a propensity for figuring shit out when they have proper incentive to do so! And many men have survived the nicks from their razors!

“Pro BTC” is newspeak for “Anti BTC”

I’m too pro-BTC for this shirt. So pro-BTC it hurts.

Yesterday, the Lords of Silicon Valley and associated barkers at the gate unveiled a media monstrosity called “” declaring themselves a curator of information gathered from “pro-bitcoin” sources.

Within its pages you will find miscellaneous traps for non-Bitcoin opportunities, and distracting paradigms that allow for greater tolerance of competing ideas to Bitcoin. There’s a meme for this: “I like Bitcoin, buy my shitcoin.”

Make no mistake. These people have insulted the name of Bitcoin’s inventor, and are exploiting Bitcoin strictly to divert funds away from Bitcoin.

Like any responsible grumpy old man, I am yelling for them to get off my lawn.

The “Known Bad Actor” List, or, the Benevolent Gatekeepers That Use “Bad” Words

The Lords of the Valley have created a list of every Bitcoiner that is intolerant of their efforts to divert value from Bitcoin. They have established protocols for silencing people on the list, and scrubbing their signals from strategic assets.

They are intentionally tarnishing the names of the staunchest Bitcoiners by painting them as “negative”, “unconstructive”, “embarrassing”, etc.

On the bright side, we are still willing to represent and guide people from the Gates of Bitcoin to its inner sanctum. No one has more incentive than a real Bitcoiner to guide you safely through its halls.

Benevolent gatekeepers are not always easy to identify, a benevolent gatekeeper is unlikely to be declaring himself as such. We are too busy sweeping bullshit and building out the citadel to be advertising much. So nocoiners are still reliant on their own constitution to prevail.

In the end, the only way to get stuck at the Gates of Bitcoin, is too choose to be stuck.

You’ve already arrived, after all.

Get in here, get out there, or scam at the gates.



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