The Power of Gratitude
How being grateful changed me
I’m beginning this year by being grateful, everyday for everything. What is Gratitude? According to Wikipedia,
Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.
First, my story-I’ve always been an introverted being. I looked upon it as a hindrance- unable to express myself personally, socially and professionally, being double-minded when making a decision which resulted in other people taking decisions for me and a deep loneliness(different from solitude). In childhood, I loved studying- reading became my habit, but it also led to me thinking that books are better than people.
I made an unwilling choice for my College because I failed to stand up for what I thought was best for me. A person whose mind keeps oscillating between art and technology has a difficult path to choose(although a path existed- but I wasn’t aware of it). I chose technology, graduated in Computer Science but it wasn’t fulfilling. Deep down there was a hole of dissatisfaction which kept on growing. No matter how many self-help books I read, I couldn’t find a path.
I asked.
So, I decided to stop. I stopped looking for a path outside and turned inwards. I started asking myself-
Why can’t I make decisions properly?
Why do I fail to satisfy people I care about?
Why can’t I heal?
I asked myself- “What do I fear to lose?” It turned out that it’s what most people do not want to lose: CRAP~ Criticism, Rejection, Assholes and Pressure!
Criticism- To avoid being ridiculed when making decisions in front of others
Rejection- Fear that what I think or do might get rejected
Assholes- Technically, these are people who miss something out in their life and constantly bully and snarl at others who look fulfilled.
Pressure- from our parents, teachers, friends, colleagues and partners who expect so much from us !
Please, do not fall in the trap of CRAP. How?
What I found.
What I’ve found in the last 7 years of soul-searching, it’s so simple that it just fascinated me. It’s what Steve Jobs said in his 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech about Death -
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
If you know you can die any moment, you ought to do the only thing that matters to you the most. That’s what cancer patients do. You fight for survival, and the only way to survive is by doing something that matters more than you, which benefits everyone around you. That’s why people who do great jobs in their lives are the ones who are most remembered because they do something which results in a smile on people’s faces.
Remember that you can die any moment.
Once I realized that I’ll die any moment, that whatever I possess- family, friends, my teachers, my precious books, the girl I like, I wanted to stop fighting, I wanted to make peace with all of them. I believe the only way I can do that is thank them for whatever they’ve given me.
So, I started saying, “Thank You”- to myself first, then my roommate, my friends who understand me even when I don’t understand myself sometimes, my parents for…everything,(that was the hardest thing for me)- you just can’t count what parents do for you. Last week, I met my old Physics teacher and thanked him.My art assisted me in this. I used to draw only for pleasure, now I draw to please people, to thank them. I draw people just to appreciate them, because everyone in this world wants to be appreciated.
I thank, everyday.
Thanking is easier than you think. It consists of just three steps, :STOP. LOOK. GO.
Stop rushing through things, try to look people as they are, accept them, admire, and go. This habit takes time to cultivate, but once we nurture it, it’s revolutionizing.
The year has just started and I have a long list of people to thank. It’s an ongoing process.
I wake up in the morning and say thanks to the universe for giving me one more day to live, to breathe, to see the morning mist, to see my friends, talk to my parents, to work, to enjoy.
What gratefulness does, is that it keeps me cool. It lets me see the bigger picture. Nothing lasts forever, like the tidal waves of the sea, life keeps on changing. This helps me put myself in others’ shoes and see the world from their perspective.
With this perspective, I prevent myself from a blackout and I try to handle the situation. It helps to keep my focus on what’s most important- who I need to become and what I don’t want to become.
I can’t control anything however I try, but gratefulness helps me accept people as they are, so I get along with them better. Now, people don’t bother my introverted nature and trust me better than before. Sometimes, they even discuss their problems with me, which makes me say Wow! This person really thinks I can solve his problem!Thanks for this moment! It means a lot to me, it makes me happier. It’s amazing to think that people come to an introverted person like me with their problems. Gratefulness makes me realize that
What you need is more important than what you want/desire.
People are more important than things, money and smartphones.
Friendship is more important than pride.
Caring for people who care about you is more important than just caring about yourself.
Being a good friend is more important than being someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend.
‘Unconditional love’ is more important than mere ‘love’, which is more of a possessive kind.
So, who/what will you thank for today?
