The Nightmarish Dream of Suicide Showed Me There Is Another Way
At last, I finally had the courage to change my reality
“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.” — Norman Vincent Peale
The dark grisly clouds that had cast above me for the last few months that made my existence so insignificant lacking purpose and joy. I had completely forgotten how to fully enjoy the simple pleasures, like savouring a good glass of wine, playing the piano, or getting lost in a book. I referred to this period as a ‘midlife crisis or mild depression’… of course, childhood traumas played a role, but this felt different.
A week ago today I had a very lucid dream (a dream where you are aware of your thoughts and actions). I decided to take a ‘suicide pill’, I recall feeling some sadness before swallowing it but overall I felt more peace and acceptance with my decision that it was my time to end the struggle and the pursuit of tranquillity and happiness. In the dream I enter into a Xanax like drowsy state so basically I never entered the afterlife.
The next day, uncommon in fact was becoming frequent I refused to wake up, I was awake but the idea of opening my eyes or moving was terrifying — I…
