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How I Went from Complaining to Taking Control

And what gratitude has done to change my life

Becca CO 🌵
Black Bear
6 min readNov 9, 2024

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Rocks with a tree line behind them.
Life can be rocky. We can climb up or be lost in a landslide. Image credit: Becca CO

Five years ago, I used to be someone who complained about life and blamed others for my problems. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t take responsibility for my choices, it was more that I had a victim mindset.

My childhood wasn’t ideal. I endured trauma for the first several years of my life and then lived in an oppressive home after I was adopted. My father believed in discipline by the belt, and he often put me down.

By the time I became an adult it was easier to blame my misery on what had been happening around me rather than to take control.

It wasn’t until I became a parent the second time that I began to truly evaluate my mindset. No, I couldn’t help what happened to me, but I could certainly ensure it didn’t happen to my children. I could make sure my life was put together enough for them to thrive.

I was a teacher and trying to be the best parent I could be, but I was still miserable. I was one step from falling apart at any given moment because of how I was living at home.

Life with two small children and a full time job was wearing on me. I felt alone in my marriage and alone in parenting. Still, I refused to see my part in all the turmoil.

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Black Bear
Black Bear

Published in Black Bear

At Black Bear, we share informative articles and personal stories about struggling with mental health and substance use disorders.

Becca CO 🌵
Becca CO 🌵

Written by Becca CO 🌵

Autistic | Survivor—I write about how life's challenges affect living—NF & poetry are my niches. Editor for Black Bear. https://www.instagram.com/becca_collora/

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