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How To Recognize Privilege When You’re Living With a Disability

Not quite from riches to rags, but my adulthood has been harder

Michelle Marie Warner
Black Bear
10 min readJan 13, 2025

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Photo taken by author of a sunset at the beach in Carpinteria, CA. There are clouds across the sky, sun hanging near the horizon in a brilliant orange, reflecting off the sand, and birds in the frothy white surf at the shore, and mountains in the distance. People walk their dogs and play as the sun still casts its light.
Photo of Carpinteria State Beach at sunset, courtesy of author — Carpinteria, CA, 2021

It’s harder to see you’re in Paradise if you’ve never lived in Hell. I’ve been to both, but I grew up forgetting where I came from. Once plucked from a dysfunctional living situation with my birth mother, I was given a second chance.

In 1984, we landed in the quaint little beach town of Carpinteria, California. My dad and stepmom both found stable, well-paying jobs and moved us 12 miles south of a wealthy tourist destination.

Despite living several miles from Michael Jackson, Jeff Bridges, and Oprah, my stepbrother and I grew up in a modest 4-bedroom home near the 101 Northbound freeway entrance. Although we were a 15-minute walk to the beach and the sun shone at least 300 days a year, Carpinteria seemed like an ordinary town from my perspective.

I was used to living in beautiful places. I once lived in a log cabin in the Sierra Nevada mountains, then moved to Mt. Hamilton, surrounded by half a dozen telescopes and a spectacular view of the Bay Area in Northern California. We made it back to sea level, able to dip our toes in the Pacific anytime.

Trouble in Paradise began early on.

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Black Bear
Black Bear

Published in Black Bear

At Black Bear, we share informative articles and personal stories about struggling with mental health and substance use disorders.

Michelle Marie Warner
Michelle Marie Warner

Written by Michelle Marie Warner

Grateful, sassy, sober GenX mom with plenty to say and enough energy to listen. Learning to laugh a little more as I age gracefully. Bring it on.

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