“I’ll Never Drink Again” and Other Lies of Addiction

Making promises we just can’t keep as an addict

I remember just bits and pieces of my 40th surprise party . Author’s photo

As my head hung in the toilet, my body violently rejected the previous night's intake.

I was lurching through dry heaves, my nose running, head pounding, legs weak, and my self-esteem in the same place as the contents of my stomach.

Down the drain.

As I finished the horrific round of battle, I sat on the floor, blew my nose, cried a dry tear or two, and said out loud, “Oh my God, I can’t do this anymore. What’s wrong with me? I am so sorry. Please make this stop. I need to stop. Make this go away and I’ll never drink again”.

I figure God was looking down with disdain and disgust at me thinking “Yeah right, who are you kidding? This too shall pass, but stop lying to me and to yourself, stupid girl.”

Promises, Promises

If you’re struggled with addiction of any kind then you’ve likely made a slew of broken promises.

Then 24 hours pass, as does the hangover, and it creeps back in. Addiction. Like a thief in the night. Creeping and crawling around your mind like a rat searching an abandoned warehouse for scraps to eat. It rears its ugly head once again and before you know it, you’re doing it…