SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH
My Daughter Never Wanted to Die Forever, Just For a Moment
She always cried for help, until she didn’t
The failed attempts to end her own life brought forth admissions of self-harm — complete with explanations a mind unburdened by mental illness is unable to comprehend or rationalize.
She never wanted to die forever, just for a moment.
The first time this ton of bricks crash landed on my chest did nothing to lessen the shock for the second, third, or even fourth visit to the psych ward as she recovered.
At 14, my daughter crept down our darkened staircase. The pressure of her hand on my shoulder woke me. She had jumped on a speeding train and begged for help to stop it.
Tears rolled down her cheeks despite her unblinking eyes frozen open in fear.
“I took Tylenol. A lot of it.”
Her will to live pushed her to drink the unappealing (repugnant, really) activated charcoal concoction administered in the emergency room. Her body violently rejected everything in her system, leaving dark stains as evidence of the upheaval.
Streaks of black ran down her chin and smeared her shirt.
