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The Fire That Burns Within

Blazing through the flames of addiction

Michele Maize
Black Bear
7 min readJan 4, 2025

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Igniting a fire — Photo by author

Up in the cold mountains for a weekend getaway, the fire from the previous evening was extinguished long before I fell in. It was midday but the coals were still on fire, internally, making them just as dangerous as a flame. Touching those coals was like sticking your hand in an oven and burning your skin on scorching hot metal.

At only five years old, I wasn’t entirely aware of all my surroundings but hyperfocused on one thing. I wanted to take an amazing picture of my soon-to-be stepmom because she looked beautiful laying on a fold-out lounger.

As I backed up inch by inch to get her entire body in the frame, I missed a step and tripped over the rock barrier for the campfire. As I fell backward, my hand and arm propped back to brace my fall, leaving me with third-degree burns all over my right hand and arm.

I am sure one of the first thoughts that came to my new mom was how my birth mother would react. We all knew she was insanely mean and irrational. That is what drugs and alcohol will do to someone after chronic use. While I was too young to understand addiction at the time, I do remember the behaviors.

My stepmom-to-be was scared, frightened of what would happen. And, being unable to reach my dad, who was out on a motorcycle…

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Black Bear
Black Bear

Published in Black Bear

At Black Bear, we share informative articles and personal stories about struggling with mental health and substance use disorders.

Michele Maize
Michele Maize

Written by Michele Maize

Sober Traveler | Wannabe Vegan | Yoga Addict. Dog-loving extrovert turned introvert. Owner of "The Maze". Editor at Black Bear and Globetrotters.

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