The Outdoors Scare Me, but I’m Learning to Be Brave
Because even though it makes me anxious, I love being outside
I once heard a yoga teacher say she didn’t like practicing yoga outside, and it brought me so much peace to know I’m not alone.
I find uncontrolled environments like the outdoors distracting and, if I’m being honest, scary. The noises, textures, temperature, animals, and bugs are all too unpredictable.
Being outside is overstimulating and sometimes worsens my anxiety.
I’ll be walking down the sidewalk and cross the road to avoid telephone poles buzzing extra loud. Intrusive thoughts invade my mind that I’ll be the unlucky person in the wrong place at the wrong time. What if the power lines fall on me and I get electrocuted?
I think about being kidnapped or hit by a car regularly on my walks, and I sometimes worry about my family if I were to disappear or die.
I get nervous passing by those who look familiar, but whose names I cannot remember. I’m not good at small talk and will change my route entirely if I sense it coming.
It’s hard for me to focus when wearing too warm of clothes. I hate the feeling of suffocating in heavy and scratchy fabrics while sweating in the afternoon sun.
