“ She’s not Real Black “

Is all I can remember hearing while growing up . Or she must be mixed or you definitely are mixed with something but what ?

I used to hate hearing that as if just being black wasn’t enough or that being light-skinned with different features means I can’t possibly be what she is .

Growing up seemed to be a battle between who could be, More black .

A battle I wasn’t apart of because I was too fair skinned , why do you have slanted eyes but full lips something I always had to hear as if I had an explanation for my features , like they was waiting to hear me say “oh” I’m mixed that’s why I look so different from that other light-skinned girl .

It didn’t help that I was versatile I never felt I fit in with my ethnicity at all but truth be told if I needed to get “hood” I could get there real quick , but what? then I’m too black or I’m acting like something else or your too cute to be acting like that , like because me acting mean or like I’m with the bizzness means I have to be unattractive.

“Hearing light skinned girls was in or they prefer you over me “

Coming from my bestfriends mouth made this comment more real . Why would she say some stupid shit like that ? And worse actually believe it , made it hard for us to hang out together . She often believed that she didn’t have a chance when she was around me that they always looked at the light girls , like I was a damn hot commodity which I might be but far from it because of my damn skin color .

Your acting light-skinned

Seems to be a new phrase people are using to insinuate a certain action .

Your not real black

Guess I’m not real black to y’all but I’m real black when I get racial profiled. I’m real black when I get hired to meet a diversity ratio . I’m real black when the police stop me and a middle class neighborhood “that I live in”. While walking my dog the same thing the white lady across the street is doing , “What are you doing?” where do you live? . I’m real black when I walk into a store and get looked at. I’m real black when I’m told I have an attitude like black girls . I’m real black when my major is something that doesn’t fit my ethnicity and that I should try something more suiting for me regardless if I’m excelling in it . I’m real black when I become cute for a black girl.

I’m real black when Society never cared about me being anything but black.