You’re Not Depressed… You Need Money…And Support
A word for Black women everywhere…
Disclaimer: I am NOT a therapist or professional psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker. The words I share are findings that have worked for me. Hence, this information is NOT to be substituted for professional medical or mental health advice. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Hi, my name is Nicole Denise. And I am a recovering self-diagnoser. Some may call me a hypochondriac, others an over thinker. I’ve recently come to a poignant conclusion. I’m neither. Instead, I am a Black woman living in America who has been conditioned to turn the scraps of life into rainbows and sunshine. And for 37 years, I’ve done a pretty good job. But as of late, my hustle and drive to make the bare minimum, bearable has died. For good. And I’m happy it did.
When I wrote the article, I Don’t Wanna Bounce Back In 2023, at the end of 2022, I meant that. Still do. But, I’ve added an element to my initial equation. And that’s my newfound passion to call a spade a spade. No more beating around the bush. No more pretending that I don’t see what I clearly see or feel what I feel. I’m dealing in only truth and facts nowadays. I’ve bid farewell to illusions, delusions, denial and squares that don’t fit into my circle life. Sayonara bitches!
So what does this mean for me going forward?
(I’m glad you asked)
It means that I can now decipher the difference between a depressive episode and a call for more money and/or support in my life.
The birth of my newfound understanding came in the form of frustration. I was finally ready to start reading entrepreneurship books again, and I came across one that aggravated my spirit. I made a video about it and everything. In the comments of that video, a woman recommended a new book for me to read, and let’s just say it’s been up from there.
My mood has improved, my joy for business and entrepreneurship is returning. And I feel my mojo for creating money and living my fullest and best life pulsating through my cells once more. It feels like magic. But it isn’t.
What this book has done in the first three chapters is serve me a heavy dose of truth and reality. The first being, I’m not tripping for feeling some type of way when a white business guru feeds me privileged bootstrap rhetoric. Secondly, there are historical facts and scientific studies that back the invisible systemic barriers I experience as a Black businesswoman in America. (That chapter infuriated me btw) And lastly, there is something I can do about it. Periodt!
I’m still reading, note taking, documenting my findings and drawing parallels in my own life and entrepreneurial journey. I’ve concluded that money insecurity and lack of support makes me feel depressed. I wanna crawl into a ball, isolate and disappear when my money is funny or my community is scarce or nonexistent. And there’s science to back my feelings. Just look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Money and support are basic requirements for human life. So when you don’t have them in abundance, you’re prone to feel like shit. And no amount of prayer, psychoanalysis, meditation or prescriptions will change that. These two things are life requirements. And when you come from a lineage of people who were forcefully stripped from their community, denied money yet forced to slave for others wealth making, and then “freed” without proper guidance and education, no wonder these incongruencies are deeply internalized.
But there’s good news.
Awareness, resilience and power are also traits passed down to me through epigenetics. And with this truth and fact, I’m changing my world. I’m getting the money and support I need. And again like magic (side eye) the depression dissipates.
So what have we learned today ladies?
You may not be depressed after all. The feelings of dread or churning in your stomach may be a blaring red sign that you need more support and/or money. Test out my theory and hit me back with your findings. The grand solutions you’re looking for may be simpler than you think. Not to be confused with an easy way out. The path to more money and support may be a winding road filled with bumpy twists and turns, but don’t let that stop you from getting what you require, sis.
I’ll keep sharing my journey as I root for you on yours.
Many blessings to you.
Ashe
