Mastering the STATE Principle: Product Manager’s guide in navigating crucial conversations
As a Product Manager, navigating alignment between various stakeholders is a crucial aspect of the job. Acting as a bridge between business and tech, we must balance the interests and priorities of multiple parties. Disagreements are bound to occur, and productive dialogue can quickly turn into a heated conversation.
Knowing how to handle these moments with grace and diplomacy can mean the difference between achieving successful outcomes or stalling progress. I think it’s essential for Product Managers to understand the nuances of effective communication and have strategies in place to navigate difficult conversations with confidence.
So, what conversation can be categorized as a crucial conversation?
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler in “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High” define a crucial conversation as a conversation when:
- The stakes are high
- Opinions differ
- Emotions run strong
- The outcome impacts people’s lives
- There’s a risk of negative consequences
I believe that most Product Managers have experienced a conversation that becomes crucial due to high stakes or emotions. When this happens, we may feel nervous, start sweating, or even become passive. It can be challenging to know how to handle these conversations effectively.
Fortunately, there is a useful guideline called the STATE principle outlined in the book that can help. The principle provides a framework for effective communication during crucial conversations.
S - Share your facts
Have you ever been in a crucial conversation where you find it challenging to control your emotions? It’s easy to get swept up in the moment and start making assumptions instead of sticking to the facts.
When stakes are high, we may feel the need to defend ourselves or attack others, which can escalate the situation. However, it’s crucial to remember that our story is just an assumption, not a fact. For instance, if we’re dealing with a delay in development, instead of accusing the developer of being slow or lazy, we should simply state that the development is overdue by a certain number of days. By focusing on facts, we can avoid misunderstandings and keep the conversation productive.
T - Tell your story
The next step is to share our story and our take based on the fact from the previous step. For example: “It seems to me that there have been several instances where development projects have not met their deadlines. From this, I infer there might be an underestimation of the required effort during the initial planning stages.”
Our counterparts may start to defend themselves (or so do we when the others tell their story). Thus, we need to act to make it safe quickly.
- Find the mutual purpose: state the goals of the conversation we all agreed on
- Say what you don’t mean: restate that this is only your assumption, and you might be wrong
A - Ask for other’s story
It’s essential to remember that our dialogue counterparts likely have their own assumptions and perspectives. To foster productive dialogue, we should seek to understand their story by asking open-ended questions and refraining from arguing against their viewpoint.
Interrupting or preparing an argument can make the situation more tense and unproductive. Instead, we should position ourselves to listen and truly understand their point of view. We can ask questions such as: “What’s your thought?” or “What’s your perspective?” to encourage open and honest dialogue. Additionally, we can ask if we’ve misunderstood anything to clarify any misconceptions and ensure we’re on the same page.
T - Talk tentatively
Again, our story is an assumption, an opinion. Therefore, it’s crucial to share our perspective as a possibility rather than a certainty. Starting our statements with phrases such as “In my opinion,…”, “From my perspective,…”, or “I get the impression that…” can help us frame our ideas as hypotheses that we are open to discussing and exploring further. This approach allows us to communicate our thoughts while remaining open to feedback and alternative perspectives.
By sharing our story as a possibility, we can engage in a more collaborative conversation and increase the chances of reaching a mutually beneficial outcome.
E - Encourage testing
When engaging in a crucial conversation, it’s essential to create a safe space for others to express their point of view, even if it differs from our own. Inviting others to speak and showing genuine interest in their perspective can help foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
It’s important to remember that listening to others does not mean we have to agree with them, but rather that we are willing to hear them out and consider their perspective. This approach also helps to build trust and rapport with our dialogue counterparts, making it easier to engage in future conversations and work collaboratively.
How to deal with disagreement
As we practice the STATE principle, we may find disagreement towards others. To handle disagreement effectively, the book recommends sharing the concern using the ABC method:
- Agree — Find what you agree with others’ statements
- Build — provide additional context that may have been missed
- Compare — show the difference between viewpoints without making one side right or wrong
For example:
“I agree that this improvement is important for your team and understand that you need it launched quickly. However, we haven’t agreed on the end-to-end flow. From your perspective, you feel like PM is not prioritizing the development, but from my perspective, PM needs to get the end-to-end flow first to define the solution and the development required.”
This technique helps to identify gaps and leads to collaborative discussions that foster mutual understanding and agreement.
Crucial conversations can be tricky. They can make or break a project, and how we handle them can impact the success of our team and company. By following the STATE principle and using the ABC method to handle disagreements, we can turn these tough conversations into productive discussions that lead to successful outcomes. So, embrace the challenge and equip yourself with the skills you need to navigate these conversations.
“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”
Brian Tracy
Blibli is currently hiring full-time and intern positions! Send your resumé to recruitment@blibli.com and get the chance to work with our PM and UX team and create our own unique stories.
