The fear to disagree with your tribe
‘Join our tribe’, ‘Become part of something bigger’, ‘We’ll take care of you forever!’ We’re constantly tricked into believing a tribe is where we find our happiness. Where we’ll lose all of our fears and anxiety, and where we’ll find friends for life.
What exactly defines a tribe…
A tribe is a group of distinct people, dependent on their land for their livelihood, who are largely self-sufficient, and not integrated into the national society.
There are an estimated one hundred and fifty million (150.000.000) tribe individuals worldwide. Well, that is when we look only look at these kind of tribes…
but what about these tribes…
or what this tribe…
or people who fight against oppression by another ethnicity
and what about these passionate folks
or the nerds who build tech
what about those yogi’s
and what about the tribe of this guy
or this woman?
We could go on forever. However, you’ll soon realise that you are part of a tribe in one way or another…
There are millions (if not billions) of tribes
Tribes aren’t just indigoes people that are observed by thousands of scientists to understand there misunderstood cultural practices. All of us live in tribes, our identity depends on it. It starts off with feeling that we’re unique, like we have opinions, ideas and beliefs that no one around us seem to share. However, when we search around us, engage with others, we soon come to understand there are more people like us. People who will have our back when we fall down.
But… do they really? Does your tribe unconditionally support you, even if you would disagree with them?
Tribes are really not setup to engage with other tribes
If you empathise with your enemy too much you’ll lose your friends
Tribalism has a very adaptive effect in human evolution. Humans are social animals and ill-equipped to live on their own. Tribalism and social bonding help to keep individuals committed to the group, even when personal relations may fray. That keeps individuals from wandering off or joining other groups. It also leads to bullying when a tribal member is unwilling to conform to the politics of the collective.
Disagreement is one of the most important cornerstones of our society (if not the). It’s the heartbeat of free speech. This is also why we belief a democracy is the best way of doing things. Why we belief we can have our own opinions and ideas about things. Yet, even though we don’t agree on everything, we can still work together. We simply disagree (on some things) and then commit collectively to build a better world (well that is the idea…).
There is a trend sneaking into our ability to disagree with one another, by trying to mute each other. Sometimes this happens by screaming louder than someone else, by playing identity politics, by putting a hashtag on someone that often ends with ‘ism’ or we are trying to present ‘alternative facts’ because we disagree with someone’s worldview. A worldview is constructed by what you belief is true about the world, your experiences and the tribe you live in. Your worldview is neither good or bad, it’s yours. You can do what you want with it. However, when there are facts presented by science, your worldview, your identity is irrelevant. When you disagree with the facts, it’s up to you to construct a better argument based on those facts or you need to do more science that unmistakably proves your point.
Facebook: The Tribe Master
Facebook has now reached 2 billion users and there is no reason to believe it will a billion more in the next couple of years. It’s not even crazy to say that half of the people on the planet will all be “connected” to Facebook. Facebook is doing something no organization has done before as there have never been so many people “engaged” with one platform. The amount of attention Facebook seems to be able to engineer from the average human being, is something that could fix our entire education system. Instead, it’s not really helping to educate us… it’s primarily helping us to confirm what we already belief. To let us live in several micro-tribes that we call “friends” and “likes”… it forms our opinions and it even forms our mood of the day. Facebook isn’t designed to disagree with you or to challenge what you belief. It’s designed to agree with you every step of the way so it becomes a frictionless “experience”.
A couple of days ago Facebook released sort of a manifesto on how they view ‘free speech’ and ‘hate speech’. You could say, that it’s such an admirable thing that Facebook is trying to help define society what free speech is about and what is right and what is wrong. However, this is something that must worry us. Most of the policies are created in a vacuum by a small group of Tribes within Facebook, within Silicon Valley. Now I don’t believe Facebook is a group of people who are evil or who are out to control the planet.
What I do belief is that when there is a financial incentive like with a public company like Facebook, you can’t trust they will do all what is right. What you can trust is that they will do what is right as long as it benefits their growth objectives. They won’t disagree with their shareholders to say, fuck that growth for the next 5 years, let’s fix what is broken about Facebook. Let’s fix the polarisation we’re creating, the bias we’re supporting and the pure depression we’re is causing.
So if Facebook wants to do what is right, it might have to think to actually appoint a separate, independent group of people that will help define the fundamental principles of how we communicate with each other. Similar as the Norwegian state-owned oil company Statoil has a philosopher on the board, to help guide decisions to do what is right for the people, it’s environment and their objectives. This might sound absurd, but we can’t state those ideas as ‘absurd’ when it’s people has been seen as the happiest on the planet, where the gender gap is nearly non-existent and when the country is so rich, it doesn’t know what to do with it’s money. Oh and Mark, if for some reason you might be reading this, one philosopher won’t really do the job when you’re “engaging” with 2 Billion people, but you’re smarter than me so I guess you figured that out all by yourself.
It’s your turn to switch channels
We can’t really put the blame on our ability to think independently on Facebook. So if you want to do what’s right it’s time you stop “liking” the content you now engage with every day and start following people you disagree with. People who don’t think like you, people who don’t look like you, people who don’t have the same hobbies like you. You could make a new Youtube account, start following people and channels with completely different views than you, views that provoke you, that make you uncomfortable and just sit through it. Listen to what they are really saying and what they’re not. You could watch documentaries and series on Netflix that put you off. For example, if you are a white (male), start watching ’13th’ or ‘Dear White People’, not because it is easy but because it’s important to be curious. So, instead of wasting your time watching another superhero movie you like so much, or a documentary that confirms what you already know — use that time of procrastination to learn something you didn’t know. To understand a different perspective. Try that for 30 days and you just might learn something.
If you find this too much hassle, you might not be ready to leap. You might not be ready to truly connect with individuals and tribes who disagree with you. You might be scared to disagree with your tribe as it can feel lonely if they outcast you. That’s ok.
I just hope that one day you will be ready to leap and think independently. Together.
