Motel 6 Declares Bankruptcy After Leaving Lights On Too Long
WALL STREET — Motel 6, the low budget motel chain, declared bankruptcy today. Plagued by more than $1.2 trillion in electricity bills by leaving the lights on for too long, the board voted 7–1 in favor of filing for chapter 11.
The announcement did not come as a surprise to Wall Street. “Turns out leaving the lights on for you for 40 years is not a solid business strategy,” said one Wall Street Insider. This is not the first time Motel 6 will be dark. The chain experimented with turning the lights off in the 90’s but much like Crystal Pepsi, it went hasta la vista, baby.
The lone no vote on the board belonged to long time spokesman Tom Bodett. “Since 1986, Motel 6 has kept the Cathyulhu at bay by keeping the lights on.” Adding, “the lights, my god the lights! You mustn’t turn the lights off. That is when the Cathyulhu comes to take your soul.” Bodett continued, “you fools! You have no idea what you have done. You have doomed all of humanity! The Cathyulhu will kill us all!” Moments later Bodett jumped through the window, plummeting 30 floors.
Motel 6 was named after its founder Steve Motel the 6th. An oilman by trade, was tired of overpaying for places to cheat on his wife. His wife Cathy discovered Steve’s indiscretions and murdered him and took her own life. “Some say Cathy still haunts Motel 6 looking for souls. And that is why the lights we’re kept on. But honestly, I don’t believe in ghost stories” said the Wall Street Insider as his face was ripped off by Cathyulhu.
