Trump Nominates Smoke Monster From ‘Lost’ As Ambassador To Oceania
WASHINGTON — Citing 2000 years of experience living on The Island, President Donald Trump has nominated the Smoke Monster from “Lost” as ambassador to Oceania. “Brrrrr, chk-chk-chk-chk, muuuuuuuuaaaaarrrrhhh,” said the Smoke Monster billowing from the White House Briefing Room.
The nomination is not without controversy as the quasi shape-shifting entity’s predilection for malevolent and brutal violence is an issue for Congressional Democrats. “We need answers about the Smoke Monster’s involvement in the 2004 death of the beloved Reverend Tunde,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumur (D-NY). “The reverend was viciously beat to death by the Smoke Monster during an altercation outside The Hatch.”
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders disagrees with the Dems characterization of Reverend Tunde. “Mr. Eko is not a man of God. Reverend Tunde is a fake name used by Eko, a brutal drug lord from Nigeria,” she said. “The Smoke Monster’s actions removed a dangerous illegal immigrant from the streets. He is a hero and the American people are grateful for the Smoke Monster’s service.”
“Another questionable Trump nomination,” said Schumur. “First Jeff Sessions now the Smoke Monster? We cannot keep approving literal monsters.”
