Cutieverse’s Big Bang
Time is a super fuzzy concept if you think about it. People try to arbitrarily measure like it is a straight line coming from the past to the future, divided in two by baby Jesus. But no one knows where it really started.
The good thing is that time in the cutieverse is a much simpler concept. Recently while studying the marketplace our conspiracy department has stumbled upon a group of prehistoric cuties.
Cuties from the beginning of time.
Yes, we will be challenging the genesis here, because we want people to know the truth.
The myth goes that it all started with cutie Number 1.
It looks great and, according to its profile, it was born on the 23rd of April 2018. It should be the oldest cutie, right?
There are exactly 51 prehistoric cuties that were born before it.
Those 51 cuties were born on 1st of January 1970. Confusing right? So we started digging.
It turns out that the 1st of January 1970 is the beginning of Unix time.
Unix time — is the number of seconds that have elapsed since 00:00:00 Thursday, 1 January 1970.
We found the exact moment of the big bang of the cutieverse! It was the beginning of Unix time.
But one thing got us scratching our tinfoil hats. All of those 51 cuties were born exactly 2 hours and 12 milliseconds after the beginning of time.
What was going on during those two hours? We can’t tell.
The other mind-boggling fact is that prehistoric cuties seem to be the result of single parent births.
Remember the greek or other myths where creatures were born out of other creature’s body parts or other insane stuff? Prehistoric cuties are just like that. And it’s super creepy.
Just think. Those cuties are walking among us and we have never noticed.
Cutieneers, are you weirded out right now? Let us know in the comments!