Purpose

I had something else planned to write for today. Actually, that’s happened a few times. The topic in my mind shoved aside by something new, a more pressing inspiration.

I got to teach today. I mean, I was teaching adults, which I do a lot these days, but I was modelling a lesson from their curriculum, so it was kinda like the real thing. By real thing, I mean the teaching that I’m used to after 6 years in an elementary classroom. (I have no intention of belittling any and all other forms of teaching!)

As I was preparing for my session I started to get nervous. Like, really nervous. I haven’t taught in three months. It made me realize, I haven’t interacted with a child… in three months. When, in the past 12 years, have I gone that long without interacting with a student?

I miss teaching. I mean, today felt good, and I’m happy to report that my “teacher hat” slipped right back on as if I had just taken it off yesterday, but I miss it.

I miss the warmth and familiarity of my classroom.

I miss having my students; cool, funny, intelligent little beings that hung on every (ok, not every) word I said. That never failed to make me laugh, cry, and basically… feel human.

I miss my colleagues (I truly adore my new colleagues- thank goodness), but I miss the ones I’m used to seeing every day. Sitting with for a cup of coffee every day…. every. damn. day.

I have to believe it’ll get better, and soon I’ll be spending much more time in schools and classrooms… but I also know I’ll have days like this on occasion. Maybe that’s purposeful. To remind me of my purpose.

A reminder to never stray too far from where the world needs me.

Day 14