Relief

I’m a pessimist. I am naturally inclined to consider the worst possible situations before all else. I’ve always been like that; an almost constant worrier, but as I’ve written before, it’s my norm.

The last week was tense. I had a biopsy done last Thursday to test a nodule found on my thyroid. These things are common, and even though my risk was higher because of my age and the size of the nodule, it was very unlikely to be anything to concern myself with.

But I worried.

And panicked.

Hardly slept.

Thought about it constantly.

For six days.

My doctor called today. He apologized profusely that it had taken this long, and acknowledged that I was probably worried. He said he checked daily for the results, but the lab just didn’t get them turned around as quickly as he expected.

After all this explanation, he said,

“The samples came back completely benign.”

What good did stressing out all week do me? The incessant Googling and looking up of statistics and case studies? I mean, maybe this is a more extreme situation; how could I not be at least a little concerned?

Regardless, it’s a reminder that maybe this doesn’t need to be my norm. This default of negativity doesn’t always detract from my life, but it certainly doesn’t bring value to it.

Perhaps it’s time to redefine my norm.

Day 41