In pursuit of happiness , are we forgetting the self?

When I see young women in their early 20s, I am amazed by how articulate and smart they are. They seem like such go getters, most of them have travelled the world, studied in the best schools and are better groomed than most women of their age were ten or twenty years back. To me they seem like they possess such strong identities and I feel they are very capable of achieving anything they set their hearts on. But, that is me the counselor they are talking to. Unfortunately when they see themselves, they are only plagued with self- doubts and anxiety of all kinds. The confident exterior they have is just for the world to see but if you scratch the surface just a little bit, you come across this nervous, under confident, sometimes child- like woman who is unsure of her looks, her career, her relationships and her future !

Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

So, what or who is responsible for this constant self- doubt and low self- confidence sometimes even low self-esteem? Is it the media which presents the most perfect looking faces and bodies in any advertisement you see? Is it the social media ( research has already proven how it makes people unhappy) where there is constant pressure to post perfect pictures of perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect holidays and even that perfect meal! After all everyone else is publicizing all the cool and fun things that they are doing!

Is it running after the perfection which causes the stress and anxiety or is it the social media validation without which one can’t be happy?

To add to the misery of these young women is taking the right career decisions and once in the rat race then climbing up the corporate ladder comes with its own share of agonies. And last but not the least, that coveted boyfriend or husband issues !

Photo by Sushil Nash on Unsplash

Hats off to these women for donning so many hats and all I want to tell them (before I put them on the proverbia couch) is, how about showing some kindness and compassion to yourself? How about patting yourself on the back once in a while? Recognize your own worth and celebrate all that you are good at! Take out time for yourself and do something you enjoy! Forgive yourself for something you couldn’t do perfectly, allow some imperfection in your life. Do not let your inner voice berate you instead be gentle with yourself and praise yourself for all the good you are doing and accomplishing. For the world would still be their oyster if only they would believe in themselves and see the potential and power that I see in them!

Photo by Akshat Vats on Unsplash