I woke up.
Enough to see the world more clearly than I ever have.
It took 8 years of introspection, near daily meditation, constant self study, investing in coaching, 14 journals filled cover to cover, tens of thousands of words in my apple notes, a few dark nights of the soul, and over 40 ayahuasca ceremonies…but I finally woke up.
Woke up to what?
To who 👁 ️really am
I didn’t just see that I was an incredible and infinite being somewhere in the background, I remembered that I came to actually embody him. Fully, with no question.
To drop all of my narratives of who I’ve been as a limited semi-conscious human, fumbling about trying to find his fulfillment, happiness, comfort, and love— and surrender to the Truth of who I am (and we all are):
An unlimited, fearless, graceful essence of the divine, in command of our power, constantly expanding into greater states of Being and consciousness that permits us to see the true beauty and perfection in all things and all beings—especially ourselves, just as we are.
The name of the game we’re all playing as human is releasing and healing our past so we can let the future in.
Nothing is more important.
Until we learn how to release our past, which is different from denying it and hoping it goes away on its own, we will never self-actualize. Because we are always either creating the future or repeating the past.
Too many of us are stuck using the paintbrush of the past to paint on the canvas of a new day or moment…same dirty water…same disappointing result.
We consciously put in the effort to paint in blue, but it comes out brown, grey or barely there.
The wildly ironic truth is that we are all Michaelangelos in disguise. But we hold the subconscious beliefs that don’t let that inner genius shine through.
Every insecurity.
Every doubt.
Every fear,
all of them rooted in our subconscious, are tying our shoelaces together before we step foot in the field of creation.
No wonder every climb feels like a mountain.
and why, for many of us, our manifestations are not as epic as we wished them to be. or even a quarter as good.
Why every attempt at business and relationships of mine have been undermined by beliefs that stopped the flow of the universe I believe and know is there for us.
But now, today, the world makes sense. All the hiccups, the plans that fell through, the relationships, the partnerships, the constant sliding backwards, even my parents, all make sense.
Today I stand on the only riches that will satisfy my soul — remembrance of Love and God/Source. It’s ever-present. It’s all encompassing.
Everything is getting us to expand into our potential of greatness, love, and peace. All of the weird turns of the game in life are to get us to where we really want to go. It cannot be otherwise because there’s nothing the ego can create or have us believe in can disrupt the will of source which will have us regain our consciousness of perfect love and peace.
There is so much more to life than the material possessions we have set our mind’s focus on.
There’s so much more than nice vacations, great sex, a happy marriage, a nice home, a summer home, 2 cars, a thriving business, healthy ambitious children, our pets, movie night, and holidays.
SO MUCH MORE.
Because the infinite is not merely a lot more of the finite.
If you saturate your life with materials and external fixations, each delivering the next rush, we don’t notice what our soul yearns for…
Oneness. Re-unification. Home. God. Source.
To remember the absolute truth of the Love that is everything we really are.
To again have everything we desire manifested instantly, in the endless unraveling of a future in full alignment with love, designed to be fulfilling… till it’s just back to One again and whatever that entails.
And it goes way beyond heaven. Heaven and hell already exist right where we are, as described in A Course in Miracles, created from our thinking.
Whether we choose to recognize love in everything or if we separate ourselves from the love that All Is and fall into thinking that disturbs our inner peace, like our constant judgment of the outside world and ourselves.
Even if we were to manifest Earth to be this kick ass place for all humans, with basic necessities for everyone, and abundance of comfort for most, our true Being longs for more than what finite existence can promise us. Everything corrodes, fades, and disappears here. We even die, which cannot be so pleasant.
It gets better. It gets realer. For one, we get to have the peace our souls have been asking for…at least mine has. Life, as I’ve come to notice it, can be so disturbing to our inner peace, making it seem unattainable.
I’m talking about a peace without the presence of fear to interrupt it.
and no longer living a life that creates karma !!!
No more thinking of just ourselves and us as separate from others.
No me vs. the world.
No more anxiety, stress, fear, discomfort, disease, and DEATH.
No more death.
Literally. Because the need for it has fallen away.
and that’s exactly where we are walking, either consciously or not. The story ends with eternal life.
& We get to choose how we participate in that journey. We either go with the flow or resist and feel the pain of reinforcing illusion in denial of the wounds that make us feel unworthy of eternal love.
and that is what we are here to learn.
My advice to everyone is to stop everything...
Stop doing everything you’re doing. Take one day to not believe in anything you think you want, you think is important, you think is even real, including yourself (perhaps especially so), and ask the question..
who am I without these things? who am I if I don’t believe in my fixations? in my thoughts? in reality as I see it?
Could there really be something more to me?
Could I really not want to make money? Could I really not want to have sex? Could I really not love sports? Could I really not want to watch TV? or travel to Fiji?
I mean, isn’t this what my soul is here for? to enjoy all this stuff? what else is there? Who cares about oneness? That doesn’t sound like the Maldives, butter chicken, concerts, and steamy sex. Oneness sounds sooo boring. No wonder God created finite existence and separation. It must’ve been so bored with perfect peace and inner stillness.
But then again, ask,
What if I were really not afraid of anything?
What would it be like to be stress free? without pain? without any disease, loss, and suffering? Without politicians!? and without worrying if the food I want to eat is bad for me or not?
It’s time.
It’s time to let yourself see past the veil that would keep the Truth of your unlimited nature obscured from your view.
Because the truth seems so impossible when viewed through the traditional lens of the world, you stop yourself before you even begin to attempt to know it.
Of course, many of us make it to deep awakened understanding anyway, because something in us was saying “I don’t think the world outside has what I’m looking for…and I’m definitely looking for something.” in my partner, in my work, in meditation, in vacations—something... maybe just a feeling to hang onto long enough to affirm that life does have what I want.
We are looking for something…And it’s always always always our true selves.
Our forgotten past of Truth that has been DYING (LITERALLY) lifetime after lifetime to remember itSelf.
Which explains why so many people today have this sense early in life as opposed to later… how many lifetimes have we been searching for something greater than what we were shown was the meaning of life?
Today, many young people don’t buy life at face value like previous generations did when life was incredibly loud and we were exhausting ourselves just to feed ourselves, wars taking place, and without the available information we have today at ease… it was so easy to believe the dream that everything outside of us was so real and important. How could it not be?
But things are different now.
I can write this today and have someone read it the same day. 2022 baby.
To quickly spread light and truth and reach the eyes and ears of those ready to receive it.
Will you dare to learn more?
Question everything. especially your own thinking.
Who’s talking? Who is vocalizing and thinking about what she’s wearing and what I’m wearing? Who is thinking about all this money? all these desires?
and start to remember, you are beyond all of it.
and even though I’ve woken up…humbly, it’s truly to just how much I have yet to go (and know).
If you liked this, please let me know. Send me an email at love@stefanleon.com
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