6 Tips for Meaningful Conversation
Let’s be real. Not everyone is a natural-born conversationalist. Not everyone is an extrovert who can lead a conversation with a stranger. But, in every area of life, conversational skills are essential. These skills can lead to new professional opportunities, friendships, and so much more.
Try incorporating these 6 tips to add meaning to your conversations:
1. Update Your Online Image
There may be a level of uncertainty that comes with speaking to someone new. They might look you up online to learn a bit more about you.
How do you want to make them feel when they first see your social media? What is the impression you want to give off?
The goal of building your digital presence is to give your conversation partner an idea of who you are. This will allow them to prepare proper questions to ask you. You will be more excited to answer questions about topics you are passionate about. So, make sure your social media accounts reflect those passions, especially in your bios.
By updating your online image, you give your partner the ability to ask precise questions that reveal who you are as an individual.
2. Do Your Homework
Once you’ve identified who you want to connect with, you should research a little bit about them. Not only will this make it easier to relate to the person, but it will also help to guide your conversation.
Take a look at their social media to gauge their personality and interests. This is like the preparatory work you might do for a company interview. Just as you want to show a recruiter that you know the company’s core business and values, show your partner that you know a bit about their experiences and passions. People feel important when you take the time to learn about them.
Show them that you truly care about getting to know them by doing your research beforehand.
Side Note: If you are signed up on Bloom, we will help you in this stage by telling you what you and your connection already have in common.
3. Prepare Questions
The backbone of any meaningful conversation is meaningful questions. Ask about their life. Ask them about their journey. Ask them about their passions.
I typically start my conversations with something like this:
Tell me a little bit about yourself. How did you get to Cornell? What are you most passionate about?
Once you’ve heard a bit about their life, you will get a sense of the type of person they are. Are they shy? Outgoing? Passionate? Introverted? Extroverted? The more attentive you are to their personality, the more you’ll be able to ask questions in a manner that sparks dope conversation.
Since you’ve already done your homework, you can include specific questions about their experiences. For example, if you found out that your connection was a Product Design Intern at Facebook last summer, you can ask them questions like these:
What was your experience like as a Product Design Intern at Facebook? How did you like the Bay Area? Do you see yourself going back to Facebook full-time? What do you think you gained most from the internship?
Hackspirit suggests 15 deep questions to get to know someone. Here are some of my personal favorites:
- If I really knew you, what would I know about you?
- How would you describe yourself?
- What in your life currently makes you feel the most fulfilled?
- What’s a story of yours that you don’t get to tell often enough?
- What is your biggest accomplishment?
- Who do you look up to the most? Do you have any role models?
- What is your dream job?
- Have you found your purpose in life? If so, what is it? If not, what do you think it could be?
Remember, the goal of the first conversation with someone is to learn about them. Preparing fitting questions is essential in making this happen!
4. Listen First, Reply Later
Don’t just hear what the other person says, listen to them. Remaining active and engaged in your listening is essential to a genuine conversation. Don’t worry about what to say next. You might miss important experiences and ideas that your partner is sharing with you. And, those ideas will bring opportunities for great follow-up talking points!
Even if you’re not the best conversationalist, giving your undivided attention is something that anybody can do. If your partner notices that your attention is elsewhere, you might discourage them from talking to you. Even if an exciting thought pops into your head, put it on hold until they finish speaking. Give them space to communicate.
If you listen first, your reply will come naturally. Believe that it will. And even if your reply doesn’t come to you instantly, don’t be afraid of silence. A few seconds of silence in an otherwise upbeat conversation does not make the conversation uninteresting. And it definitely does not make you incapable of having meaningful dialogue. Rid yourself of that mentality. A short break may actually give you the necessary time to refocus your energy into the rest of the conversation.
5. Take Space, Make Space
Some of us feel more comfortable sharing our experiences and answering questions than others. The idea of taking space and making space allows you to achieve balance in a conversation.
If you’ve been sharing too much, make space and allow your partner to share a bit more. Ask questions that empower them to share their perspectives and experiences. If you are outgoing and talkative, you will most likely need to make space for your conversation partner.
If you’ve been sharing very little or not at all, take space and talk more. In an introductory conversation, you should not feel bad talking about your life, achievements or struggles. The only way a person will get to know you is if you talk about yourself. It isn’t selfish or self-centered. If you are shy and introverted, you will most likely need to take space in the conversation.
6. Summarize Your Learnings
One of the best ways to make your partner feel comfortable is to validate their contributions to the conversation. Make them feel important.
One way to do this is to occasionally summarize the significant points they’ve made. This will serve almost like a checkpoint in the conversation. Show that you have understood what they said and that you’re ready for the next part of the conversation!
When people get passionate about something, they can often talk about it for minutes on end. Summarizing their key points will ensure your partner that you haven’t zoned out.
By doing this, they will know that you are attentive and actually care about their contributions. They will want to speak to you again, believe that!
Have any other beneficial conversation tips? Share them below!
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