Fatigue

With the new normal on the way, I thought I’d reflect on the past 1.5yrs of living in a pandemic, and the lessons it taught us.

I know, we are already on the way to a ‘new normal’, but I wrote a draft of this before the new regulations were released.

I remember leaving the office in late January/ early February 2020 with the intention to return a week after. A second trip was later made to empty out my locker and we progressed to a full lockdown soon after. Despite emerging out from the lockdown very slowly but somewhat successfully (remember the days we could be in groups of 8?), it could probably just be me but mentally, I was always on ‘lockdown’ mode? Only now that we’re here at a 70% vaccination rate, that I can clearly see how much pandemic fatigue has taken a toll on me.

I acknowledge that I’m writing from a place of privilege, to be able to be safe and healthy throughout the pandemic, but like many others, I was exhausted, mentally. The constant low energy, the unexplainable moodiness, the lack of motivation to get things done, which I now know could have stemmed from the hopelessness of not knowing when things will come around. Don’t come after me work-from-home stans, but being in my room all day and nearly all week has become somewhat unbearable. Not that I had a wild social life before the pandemic, but it’s the loss of the ability to do the things I’ve so easily taken for granted, that is frustrating — Meeting new people, dining out, and even just talking on public transport.

To make matters worse, producing content from home was truly a struggle. I know I’ve written about this countless times and stayed largely positive about the whole ‘thinking-out-of-the-box’, but only now that we’ve returned to filming in the office that I realised how much harder we had it for us for the past year. At one point we were even producing twice a week, like, how?

The final straw was the constant back-and-forth of regulations and the many HAs the past few months. It made me finally realise how tired I was, and I’m sure the rest of us were, about the situation. We probably could not go on any longer having been rule-obeying citizens all this while, only to still be at the mercy of those who weren’t.

Reflecting upon that, I should’ve picked up a new hobby to get me away from my desk… Planting? Baking? Exercising? Okay, maybe still not the last one. But most importantly, the bigger lesson is learning to adapt and finding your own ways to cope, because you really never know when life will just do a 180°. I think I really lost the battle by hanging onto my pre-pandemic lifestyle instead of seeking out a new one to make the pandemic a little less insufferable. As the saying goes, ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’ and I wish I did that sooner.

The good news is, or at least I hope it will stay that way, that we can finally mark an end to this chapter. Despite the grievances, several good things have come out of this pandemic: An uptick of 1000% in the number of home bakeries, learning that sometimes a Zoom call is more than enough, and the time we never would’ve gotten to spend with our loved ones at home. I can’t help but wonder what the new normal will be like — will I have to spend 2.5hrs every weekday travelling to and fro from work? Will mask-wearing be a thing like they are in some parts of Asia? Whatever it is, I. Can’t. Wait.