Do Divorce and Separation Affect Children
BBM Monday Marriage
The current scenario of alarming rates of divorce cases creates a need for this discussion here where we talk about Healthy Marriage!
When I used to work with a children’s hospital in California in the early 2000s handling medical documentation, 90% of the cases were related to mental health issues at their worst stages. Even though some cases were reported to be linked to child abuse in the form of domestic violence or sexual abuse, a significant percentage was due to marital conflicts and single parenting.
Divorce
The term, “divorce” physically and emotionally involves only two people, the husband and wife, whether they have children or not, doesn’t matter. It’s the sole decision between the two of them. Do you think that’s fair? Here’s my take…
We don’t own them
Adults perceive things from their own perspective and impose them on their children. They also decide their children’s lives.
“No, we don’t own our children. Our parental privilege is to love them, to lead them, and to let them go.”
— Russell M. Nelson
Our kids should be treated equally. Just because they’re born through us, we don’t own them and we don’t have any right to decide their lives. Their world is way different from ours and so is how they perceive things. We are responsible to help them create their own beautiful world for them, not taming them to adapt to the screwed-up life we have created.
It’s not easy for kids to understand the concept of marriage or relationships. They are happy when everyone in the family is happy and together.
It’s hard for them to understand why some days the parents get along well and some days are horrific. Yes! I know how horrifying it could get, I have traveled through that stage in my own marriage too.
There are days when myself and my husband think about those days and feel pity for ourselves for wasting a significant part of our beautiful life.
Beautiful Face of Life
But, thankfully, I had the insight and dictated the terms about not having a quarrel in presence of our son, so he is safe and protected from any emotional disturbances. Since the time I got conceived, I was very sure to not let myself get disturbed by any means. I was very determined to show our son only love and the beautiful face of relationships.
A baby can feel the mother’s emotions at equal intensity even during pregnancy.
Kids learn more by observing than by what we teach them.
Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children!
– Charles R. Swindoll
A boy learns how to treat a woman from his father!
A girl learns how to treat a man from her mother!
What kind of show runs in our homes?
A beautiful love story or a scary monster movie?
Seeing the alarming rise in divorce cases proves the showtime votes for scary movies.
The cycle goes on and on. Can we break it somewhere? Right here? Right now? To give a peaceful life to our kids, a starting point for a better tomorrow.
Is Divorce the Only Key
When there are many ways things can be sorted out,
and you’re not even sure if the grass on the other side is truly green or not,
why don’t you give it one more chance?
What was the beginning of all this? Can you remember? Just not answering your call? Forgetting to smile? Okay, it can be worse. I understand?
I’m here talking about holding onto relationship after going through all that and more, a survivor!
Even though divorce can bring relief in the immediate aftermath, it creates emotional damage in the long run, especially in kids.
Don’t you agree?
Consequences
Numerous unanswered questions fill the kids’ brains affecting them psychologically and on top of that, they lack the love, care, and attention of their parents temporarily or permanently thereafter.
Hence, a life of constant turmoil accompanied by physical and emotional health problems, feeling of guilt, fear of socializing, poor performance in academics, anger, depression, anxiety, and it goes on and on.
Research has proven these children ultimately lose faith in marriage themselves when they grow up and are prone to having abusive relationships and end up in divorce themselves.
Research has also shown that children who have been in such situations have developed destructive behaviors and ended up in criminal activities over the past 20 years.
How can we act
Why do our children suffer this? Why should we give them “hell” when we have the chance to create a “beautiful heaven” for them right here, right now?
It’s only a matter of,
- slowing down a bit
- analyzing the situation
- focusing on solutions
- placing your loved ones in front
- trying to visualize life after
- including your kids’ life
Ask yourself,
- is it going to be better?
- why don’t I give it another chance? sometimes many chances?
Trust me! Things will change! We can make a difference!
Follow Blossoms of Beautiful Minds! Write for us!
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
Spread Love! Spread Happiness!
My beautiful BBM family,
Louise Peacock, Allisonn Church, Vinod Kumar, Julia A. Keirns, Mehak Arif, suryanarayanan k, World of Dhiksha, Arzhuma Arza, Vithal Agrawal,
here we are with yet another week into Monday Marriage in Blossoms of Beautiful Minds. Help me promote making this beautiful planet a better place for our children and future generations to thrive.
Thank you all for being with us!
Help me celebrate!
🥳🎉A proud moment for me, winning the award “Writer of the Month” from Dancing Elephants Press!🎉🥳
An inspiring story of self-love from our own Dr. Preeti Singh👇🏻
An attempt to respond to this amazing prompt by our own Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles should help make a difference in your life. Why don’t you give it a try?
The power of acceptance to live a peaceful life by Prazunt
🙏Thank You!🙏
