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Satire
Hard Boiled Eggs Are a Culinary Crime
Why don’t you go chew on a golf ball? It would taste the same
God guys, you know when people ask you how you prefer your eggs that’s just a courtesy, right? There’s only one correct answer to that question, and it’s certainly not ‘hard boiled’.
Look, I’m not saying hard-boiled eggs shouldn’t exist at all, although on balance, I do think that would be for the better. I’m just saying you should never order them from a menu or ask anyone else to make them for you.
A boiled egg should be light and silky smooth, with a creamy yolk that that cascades in gentle rivulets down the sides of the shell. What it should NOT be is the same consistency as your dog’s favourite chew toy.
If that’s your preference then fine, but enjoy this act of abuse at home, with battery eggs you bought from the supermarket clearance shelf. Asking someone to waste organic, free-range eggs they bought for £6 a dozen from the local farm shop is an abomination. It’s a waste of good quality eggs.
It’s also an insult to the chef, who’d rather throw their expensive eggs in the bin with the rest of the rubbish than commit this sin against them. It’s a slap in the face of the would-be chicken that sacrificed its life so that you might be…
