Think You Hate Vegans? No One Hates Vegans More Than Other Vegans Do

Vegans mostly get their B12 from fighting amongst themselves

“I don’t even consider you a vegan. You’re just PLANT-BASED!” (Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels)

Good news, vegans! McDonalds has joined the ranks of fast-food establishments like Burger King, Chipotle, KFC, and Del Taco in offering a vegan version of their signature food. The McPlant is being rolled out across the US, and it looks and tastes enough like animal flesh that even non-vegans might willingly choose it.

Yayyyy! Isn’t that, like, so freaking great? Let’s celebrate, fellow vegans! We’re making major inroads!!!!

“No! Fuck you!” a loud percentage of keyboard warrior vegans type. “THOSE BURGERS ARE COOKED IN GREASE THAT TOUCHED ANIMALS/IT ISN’T HEALTHY/THEY DON’T HAVE VEGAN CHEESE/YOU ARE SUPPORTING A PLACE THAT TORTURED BILLIONS OF ANIMALS.”

Wow, y’all sure know how to win. No doubt, when outsiders see how many humorless, anti-fun people are vegan, it will inspire them to take up the lifestyle too. Who likes eating fast food anyway? No one, obviously, since I’ve never seen a fast-food joint in my life, have you?

Thanks, vegans who loudly reject vegan fast-food options. You’re really helping.

Most Vegans are Normal, But You Barely Hear from Them