Life is Tough, but You’re Tougher
Life’s a treat. I scream. You scream. We all scream for…ice cream?
We’re all just actually screaming for help. At least I know I am. It’s not easy doing this whole “adulthood” thing. I’m 26 years old and if there is anything I’ve learned from my 20’s so far, it’s that having free time only means I’m forgetting to do something important. I have accepted that I need my mother to hold me at night like I’m a child again and tell me ”Mommy loves you sweetie. That’s all that matters” just so I can feel a little better about myself.
But really, life is just THAT hard. We didn’t even get a warning that says “CAUTION: GROWING-UP AHEAD, TREAD CAREFULLY”.
Let’s take some moments from my personal life, for example, so you have a better idea of just how lovely (←that’s sarcasm) my adulthood has been:
To start, in 2010, my mom suffered a severe stroke during my senior year that left her paralyzed and unable to work again. This set a whole new baseline for my day to day life and the way I was going to have to operate in order to support her.
In 2013, I had just broken up with my not-so-nice boyfriend of 4 years, and had absolutely zero friends, low self-esteem, and no self-control (I literally pulled a Britney and shaved the hair off my head!).
In 2014, I nearly dropped out of college because I thought I wasn’t smart enough for higher education (not to mention a professor once yelled at me in the hallway and told me that I was incompetent).
And in 2018, I started therapy which began to help with my anxiety and sleepless nights. It was hard to admit but at least it was helping.
Well, here we are in 2019 and I’m still going through my adulthood. Growing up is full of unpleasant “surprises” that force you to mature and make grown-up decisions that are super uncomfortable.
However — and I emphasize HOWEVER — I survived. Or rephrase, I AM surviving. Like, who knew that I’d graduate college with Honors in Psychology? My mom was even there to watch me walk across the stage!
Family became everything after my mother got sick. She is doing much better now, pushing herself to become stronger each day and it’s truly inspiring. Despite the bad things that happened in my past, I started to validate myself because I realized if my mom can do it, I can do it too. My self-esteem grew and in turn, I gravitated towards genuine friends who accepted me. I have an amazing new boyfriend, who loves me for me (and will also buy me ice cream whenever I want it). Overall I feel good!
I won’t lie though, it was tough trying to make sense of why the world picks on the most critical stages of my life. But the world’s not going to stop and answer me, so I promised myself not to feel sorry for things that were out of my control.
SO… Let me be here to remind you: You are okay. You are going to BE okay. You are kicking Life’s ass right now, AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Therefore, keep kicking ass, my friend.
Sidenote: I know that everyone is going through different levels of pain which can be magnified differently amongst each person. And that is just fine. What you feel is exactly how you should feel. My advice? The best thing to do is...let yourself feel. Feel angry. Feel sad. Feel regret. Feel afraid. Feel happy. Just feel! I personally believe it is the first step to understanding yourself in that moment and what you would like to do thereafter. Because I wouldn’t be who and where I am today if I didn’t (1) learn from my experiences, (2) accept what had happened to me, and (3) just felt my emotions run through me and understand them in raw form.
Shit happens, my friend. So roll out that toilet paper and walk it like a red carpet.
