My Wife Cuckolded Me While I Was Away In Prison

I did a year and a half in federal prison for hacking into the DOD’s system. It was stupid. I was trying to prove a point. Anyhow, I was able to use my hacking skills to get onto the internet in prison using a contraband cellphone I kept in a hole in the floor. I could only get a signal like once every three days, but it was enough. If any of the other guys had found out, I would have gotten killed by someone who wanted the internet to run their fucking criminal empire. But I kept it hidden and only used it late at night to read Lexy’s emails.

Anyhow, I am a lazy writer, so I have just copied and pasted the first of the emails I got from my wife about her sexual adventures while I was in the can. She’s a pretty good writer. I’ll post more later. This first one is her just getting started on the dating sites. Later on she gets into a long term relationship with a guy and reports to me about it every week. It was pretty fucking awesome. My fellow prisoners called me the jerker because I beat off about ten times a day just thinking about my sexy wife out there with these guys. After I got out she went totally straight and was faithful to me. Too bad. We got bored with each other and ended up divorced. Being a cuckold in prison was the happiest time of our whole marriage.

Dear Josh.

I’m glad you got your email. I’m sorry you only get to check it once a week. But once a week should be enough.

I’ve already got some good stuff to report. I hope this sustains you in your time there in prison. Or brings you some kind of joy. I think that it will. It brought me joy having these experiences, knowing that I would be able to report about them to you. It was almost as if you were there watching me while it was going on.

So anyhow, I went on Bumble. I am attaching the photo I used. Tell me what you think. I think I look pretty hot.

I had my first Bumble date last week. It was with this guy Chopin. That is a weird name, huh? I noticed it right away. He’s French. He’s been in California for a while though so he speaks good English. He also told me he was a great cook. I have missed your cooking. You know I suck at cooking and I have basically been eating fast food since Ben moved out. Ben was an OK cook. But nothing like you. Alright, his dick was bigger. But I think I’d choose cooking skills over dick size.

So I was excited about meeting him. We set up a coffee meet first. We met at this place called the Oaks in Los Feliz. Wow, that really is the best latte I ever had. They roast their beans right there I guess. So I enjoyed the latte. And he was super cool. He arrived on a motorcycle. He was hot as hell. He had longish blonde hair, and cosmic looking blue eyes. He is not that tall, maybe 5’9’’. About an inch taller than me, though, so I don’t have to look down on him.

We had a pretty good laugh. When it came time to say good bye he asked me if I would like to come over and try his cooking next week some time. I said OK. And he said, he’s really looking forward to it. And he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. We held the kiss for a little while, maybe ten seconds. And then we opened our mouths and started French kissing. Ironic, huh, since he’s French. That went on for a few minutes. And then I said, wait, I want to do something. So I took out my phone and I snapped a picture of me kissing him on the lips. I attached it to this email. Because I know you like that kind of thing. And I know you will jerk off and imagine me kissing this French guy and making a date to go have dinner with him and probably go to bed with him, at least suck him off. You know I don’t like to fuck on the first date. But…technically it’s the second date, so I don’t know what will happen.

So I hope you like the picture.

The next day I met up with this guy I met on the app called Jerry. I guess what I decided was I wanted to go on as many dates as I possibly can with as many guys as I can, so I have more to report to you. What I’m thinking is that it will really turn you on and you’ll spend all day and night thinking about all these guys and these adventures I’m having, and the time will go by real fast. And the year and a half you have left in your term will go by in a flash. And before you know it, you’ll be walking out the door of that prison and I will be there waiting for you. Because Josh, you have no idea how much I miss you and how much I love you. I know that we can be happier together than we were before because I won’t be this bitch who is bored all the time because she thinks she doesn’t really love you. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it. But you and I are meant to be together. We’re both a little weird, I mean, let’s face it. The truth is, I am really starting to get off on the idea of reporting all this shit back to you. So anyhow, let me continue. This is a good one, because this guy Jerry is a freak. You’re not gonna believe what happened.

This guy Jerry was super built. He is like a body builder and he’s got tattoos all over his arms and his chest. The photos on Bumble were too much. But I was like, what the fuck. Let’s try a crazy body builder guy like this. See what they’re like. I’ve always wondered, what kind of jerk wants to spend his whole life in the gym working out and getting tattoos. Well now I know. A real freak!

Jerry met me for coffee at his shitty place called Go Get Em Tiger in Larchmont Village. That’s the kind of pretentious coffee place that doesn’t even have Splenda because they’re too pristine and pure. They have this shit they call simple syrup which is basically sugar water. But you know I like three Splenda’s in my coffee. So I wasn’t too happy with that latte. And Jerry, well he doesn’t drink coffee. He brought his own protein drink or some shit. He was telling me about all these weird supplements and shit that he takes to make his muscles so big. And then he told me that what he likes best of all is to do strip teases for girls. In private. He likes to dance around and slowly take off his clothes, taking off one item at a time, until he’s down to his thong. And then he likes to flex his muscles and get the girl all turned on. If the girl masturbates it’s even better for him. And then he takes off his thong. And that’s when he gets really excited. When he’s totally naked, showing his beautiful body and ink to a girl. And then he likes to just pleasure himself while standing there. And he prefers that to sex.

Wow.

“That’s a lot to throw at a girl on the first date,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said. “But I figure, why waste everybody’s time? Life is short. I’m laying my cards on the table. That’s what I got. What do you think? Are you interested?”

“Well,” I said. “Let me ask. Are you talking about not even touching each other?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m really not that into physical contact. This is what I like doing. Dancing and stripping and pleasuring myself while you pleasure yourself.”

“Well,” I said. “Can I take pictures while you do it.”

“Sure,” he said. “As long as you don’t post them online.”

“OK,” I said. “Let’s go.”

“Right now?” he said.

“Right now,” I said. “Sounds like fun.”

So we went back to his place. I’m including a link to the video I shot. It’s way too big to put on the email but I have it on dropbox. He thought I was snapping photos but I was taking video. It’s pretty hilarious. He’s real serious about it and he thinks he’s so sexy. A couple of times I pan the camera back on myself. I’m lying on his couch completely naked. That’s what he said he liked best, for the girl to be completely naked. And then he gave me this vibrator. I was like, ick. But he assured me that he washes it with alcohol and stuff so I was like, what the hell. So I’m using this vibrator on myself as he dances for me. It was pretty hot actually. I must have come about ten times. Especially when he got totally naked. And his massive boner is there in front of me. He got real close to me, shaking it around. But true to his word he never touched me. Not once.

But you’ll see on the video, at one point he actually grabbed some weight and started doing curls and stuff naked in front of me. As if that was somehow super sexy. You’ll hear me laughing a lot during that section. Then he lies down on this weight bench he’s got in his living room, and he starts doing bench presses, and bragging about how much weight is on there. And he’s doing it in rhythm to the song that’s playing. And his dick is standing straight up, totally hard. It’s hilarious.

And then at the end of the video he came over to me and told me he’s going to finish on my tits. He beat off like crazy and then, sure enough, he came on my tits. So you get to see the cum shot. It was an amazing amount of cum. The testosterone he takes for his muscles must make him cum like a gallon. It was like four different explosions, one after another. I was like drenched in the stuff. But I was cumming too so I didn’t really mind.

But after that, I was like, well, I guess I don’t need to see him again. I mean, he’s kind of a one trick pony. There didn’t seem to be any point.

I hope enjoy that one.

My third date was with this nice guy Brandon. He’s super straight. He works for Nasa or something. He’s like a scientist. I never really understood what the fuck he was talking about when he explained his project. It was something about advanced nuclear physics. It was super boring.

We were sitting there at dinner. We went to this vegetarian place because he’s like that, doesn’t want to kill animals. You know, the kind of guy that just overthinks everything.

Actually, he’s kind of like you. I think you would like him. Maybe that’s why I picked him. I thought he seemed a bit like you. Although at least you never try to bore me with details about your computer programs. This guy, Brandon, why did he think I was interested in quarks and shit? So I got him onto other subjects and we were having a pretty good time. I wasn’t really feeling that attracted to him. But I had taken an Uber to the restaurant and I asked him if he minded giving me a ride home. So we get into his car — he’s got one of those fucking smart cars. You know those dorky looking little things. It was hilarious. It went about 40 on the freeway. Or maybe that’s just the way he drove.

Anyhow. We get to the apartment, and I get out of the car. And who’s standing there in front of my apartment.

Ben!

I hadn’t told you this. But he was not taking it well, the break up. I had to block his number and all kinds of shit. It was getting weird at work, too. So I complained to the HR and they warned him to not talk to me at work. And to stay out of my building at all times, all this shit He got super pissed.

So there he is, on the sidewalk. And I’m like, stay away from me dude. I have nothing to say to you.

And Brandon who was about to pull away in his smart car, he stops and he gets out of the car.

“Um, Lexy, is everything OK, is this guy bothering you?” he says.

“I’m her boyfriend,” Ben says. “So stay the fuck out of this.”

“He’s my ex-boyfriend,” I corrected him. “Ben, get the fuck out of here.”

“Listen to me, Lexy,” says Ben, and he kind of grabs me to keep me from walking away.

That’s when Brandon leaps into the air. I swear, it was like Jackie Chan. He went flying across the sidewalk and he nails Ben right in the face with his foot. I saw it like it was in slow motion. Ben went down and he was completely knocked out.

“Oh my God,” I said. “Brandon! What did you do!”

“I’m a black belt in Kung Fu,” he said. “That guy was grabbing you.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No,” he said. “He’ll be OK. I’ve hit guys a lot harder than that.”

“Wow!” I said.

I was really impressed. And surprised. I had no idea, you know he seemed like such a weakling, like you. Oh I’m only kidding. You’re not a weakling. You’re the strongest man I know. Doing a term in a horrible prison like that and never complaining. You are the farthest thing from a weakling. But you remember how I could always beat you in arm wrestling and stuff. That’s what I mean. Brandon’s arms seemed really thin like yours. But he’s got this technique. And shit, he’s the boss.

After a minute, Ben woke up and I gave him a real listening to. I told him I was going to get him fired if he bothered me anymore. And all this shit. He stumbled away. And Brandon offered to come inside with me. You know, to keep me safe.

Oh my God, Josh.

I was so turned on by that point. I have never been the damsel in distress type, you know that. But the fact that he did that to protect me. I was so turned on.

“Well,” I said. “I’d really like to show my appreciation.”

And I started kissing him, standing in the living room.

“That was very chivalrous,” I said. “I think you’ve earned a chivalrous knight’s reward.”

I lead him into the bedroom and I pulled off his pants. This skinny science nerd with the kung fu skills, he lay back and I thanked him with an awesome blow job. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it all down.

“I’ll text you,” he said, after he got his clothes back on and he was heading out.

“OK,” I said.

But I don’t think I’ll see him again. I mean, I’ve got so many other guys I’m matching with. It’s pretty overwhelming.

So anyhow, sorry I didn’t get any photos or anything of Brandon. It was just all so freaky with the kung fu and Ben and everything. I know you would have lots of questions if I was telling you this in person. And I would so love to drive up there. I’ll tell you what. Next week I have my date with the French guy. He’s going to cook for me, and let’s face it, I’m going to fuck him. He’s totally hot. I’m horny. It’s going to happen. And I will get some good photos and I’ll tell you everything and I’ll imagine that you are interviewing me the way I know you would like so I will give you the real blow by blow?

How does that sound?

In the meantime, I hope this has given you some fodder to jerk off to and have some pleasure while you endure this difficult time.

I love you, remember that. I think I love you almost as much as you love me. Take care. I will visit you as soon as I can.

Love,

Lexy XXOO

See Colt Stevens full-length oeuvre here.