5 Traits of Self-obsessed People
self-love is very important to lead a happy and stress-free life. But there is a fine line between self-love and self-obsession. Self-love impacts your life positively and gives you a sense of confidence whereas self-obsession can eventually lead you towards self-destruction. That is why it is important to bear that fine line because if it is crossed into narcissism (Self-obsession) then it is really not healthy for the person and their relationship with others.
Many reasons might make a person self-obsessed. Sometimes any sort of trauma that they went through in their childhood or past can be the reason. In this case, parenting also plays an important role. So here are a few very common signs that tell whether someone is self-obsessed or not
1. They Never Admit their Mistakes
A self-obsessed person usually does not admit his or her fault. They can defend themselves to any level. This is because they are so conscious about people’s opinions about them and they always want to portray a perfect image in front of everyone also they fear that admitting their mistakes will ruin this image.
If you point out their mistakes they usually go mad at you and start an argument because they have this insecurity of being suppressed by someone else and they are so intolerant to it as they always want to be the leader. They do this even when they do know deep down in their heart that they are wrong.
They feel that being proved wrong even about a silly thing can bring them humiliation or it can give people a chance to laugh at them which is like a nightmare for them as they always starve for admiration.
2. They don’t believe in sharing their stuff
These people usually are very comfortable with seeking help from you be it asking you to share your food, asking you for a lift, or asking you to help them in any school or office work.
In short, they don’t mind taking advantage of others whenever they need it. But when it’s their turn they either show you tantrums and make you feel unwelcomed or they avoid you by giving some stupid reasons.
This is because they want to give themselves the best. They firstly determine how much they want, they assure their comfort only then they consider helping someone else. They can never give a part of their share. They care about themselves more than they care about anyone else.
They give more importance to their want than someone else’s need. No matter how helpful you have been to them. This takes their self-centeredness to the next level.
3. They Brag Every Small Achievement of Theirs
It is absolutely fine to rejoice your achievements and share your happiness with others. But constantly talking about yourself and every small achievement of yours can at times become annoying for others.
This is exactly what self-obsessed people do. They just can’t stop bragging about their achievements. This is because they try to get validation from others for how great they are. They expect others to be amazed by everything they do.
Yes, we all do expect appreciation when we do something great but wanting everyone to just talk about you even when you do something normal is what shows out their weirdness.
They not only brag about their achievements but also about every small contribution that they make like helping you in your shopping, telling you about some news that you were not aware of, or even holding or picking something for you. And they just keep reminding you even of this small help. This is because they want to convince you how nice they are. They always minimize other’s efforts and maximize their efforts.
4. They are Always Conscious about Their Looks
As these people are always trying to impress others, appearance and looks matter to them a lot. You will always find them wearing good and expensive clothes.
They spend a lot of time getting dressed. This is one of their strategies to be the center of attraction.
Another reason is that they think they are the most good looking. That is why their desire to stay groomed and maintain their beauty becomes stronger.
Their desire of looking good is not at all harmful to others but they are not only concerned about how they look but often comment on what someone else is wearing or the way someone looks. This makes them feel more secure and superior to others.
Th.ey often are attracted to people who look good and try to become friends with them. The reason here is simply because they feel that they are the best and they deserve the best.
5. They are Always Overconfident
These people’s confidence is always at the peak. Confidence is one of the most important parts of one’s personality. Also, your talents are of no use to you and the world until you are confident enough to show it to the world.
No doubt we all want to be confident but there is a huge difference between being confident and being overconfident. Confidence can build you into someone great on the other hand overconfidence can become a barrier between you and your growth.
This overconfidence is the result of the superiority complex that self-obsessed people have. The belief that I am capable of everything inculcates overconfidence in them. They sometimes give their judgment that they will be able to do something even without bothering to practice it before. This can at times lead to failure.
Sometimes they just pretend to be confident to not feel inferior to someone and say that it is the simplest thing for them to do. But this can risk a lot of things for them and make them fall flat on their face.
How to Deal With Self-obsessed People
Dealing with self-obsessed people at times can become difficult and sometimes you might just not want to have them around because of their toxic behavior. But to hate them is not at all the solution because this what they fear the most, to be hated and to be unliked. If you hate them they get more triggered which can lead to a problematic situation which no one wants to be in.
So the best you can do is deal with them patiently as this personality that they develop is most of the time connected to their past. Maybe there is some other side of their personality that they don’t want to show to the world and that is why they have become so overprotective about themselves.
Sometimes it is the lack of love and attention that they needed to have turned them into the person they are. So it is important to have a little compassion for them as sometimes they also might want help and might not be able to talk to someone about it. But the cause of Self-obsession can sometimes also be overprotection, over admiration, and love given by family and parents.
So at the same time, you also need to set your boundaries or they can just use you for their entertainment. Be clear with what is tolerable for you and what is not but calmly. Don’t expect anything from them neither get too attached to them.
