Do Girls Often Like Bad Boys?
First and foremost, let’s clear up the pervasive myth that ALL women are attracted to a specific type of man. They’re not.
Different women are attracted to other traits in a man based on their societal conditioning, past experiences, and predispositions.
What attracts one woman might repel another and vice versa. Some women fall for “Nice Guys,” and some fall for “Bad Boys.”
The only hypothesis of female attraction is that women are attracted to high-status men. But even with this definition, we encounter a problem…
Because the very definition of status varies from woman to woman and culture to culture.
For example, in a third-world country, a man flaunting his wealth by wearing a Rolex, wearing a $5,000 suit, and driving a Ferrari will automatically be seen as high status simply because these kinds of men are exceedingly rare in those countries.
In New York City, on the other hand, this same sort of status posturing will be seen as “Try hard” and needy. (NOT something attractive)
Next, we need to clarify what the phrase “Bad Boy” really means.
Most guys assume that women are attracted to the so-called bad boys because they are dangerous, aggressive, and prone to taking risks that would scare the piss out of their “nice guy” counterparts.
Sure… That’s part of it.
But that’s not the whole story.
Sure, bad boys make for great one-night stands that are sexual experiences. But they aren’t the type of man any intelligent woman would want to date for the long term or build a family with.
They aren’t relationship material, and any intelligent woman knows this.
The theory I’m going to propose posits that women are attracted (in the short term) to specific lousy boy qualities. But what they truly crave in the long term is a man who embodies the best qualities of both the “Nice guy” and the “Bad boy,” or as they like to call them, Strong, Grounded Men.
Here’s what I mean.
1. Women Are Attracted to Confident Men
Plain and simple… Confidence is sexy.
Women are deeply attracted to men who are sure of themselves, men who know what they want, why they want it, and are willing to do what is necessary to get it.
A man who is unsure of himself, indecisive, and dependent on other people for validation is seen as weak and unfit inside the mating game.
Typically, nice guys lack confidence.
They place all of their self-worth on the women they sleep with. They will do and say anything to please those around them instead of staying true to who they are with the visceral confidence that women crave.
This is what makes the bad boy so irresistible.
He doesn’t give a shit whether you like him or not. He’s confident in who he is and what he stands for.
Although bad boys typically take this trait to an extreme and border on arrogance and blatant narcissism, there’s a valuable lesson for nice guys to learn.
Women crave men who are confident in themselves. They desire men with confidence who are unwavering in their self-belief and aren’t afraid to speak their truths.
That is what makes bad boys so sexy and what you should seek to emulate in your interactions with the fairer sex.
2. Women Are Attracted to Men With Low Levels of Agreeableness
This might sound a little bit counter-intuitive, but let me explain.
Most men think that women want a man who will act like a lap dog.
A man whose favorite words are “Yes dear” or “Whatever you want, love.”
But nothing could be further from the truth. Women want a man who has the confidence in himself and in his mission (more on that in a second) to be disagreeable and challenge the status quo.
If you ever go out to a bar, you’ll notice that the guys who tend to leave with the most attractive women (the bad boys) rarely, if ever, act agreeably.
They’ll stay behind at a bar when everyone else is moving venues, or they’ll move venues when others want to visit.
They’ll share unpopular opinions, call people out on their bullshit, and generally say all of the things that everyone else is thinking but too scared to tell.
This isn’t to say that you should be disagreeable for the sake of being an asshole – You shouldn’t.
Instead, women are attracted to men willing to go their way.
So speak up about your unpopular opinions. Own your desires. And don’t let the whims and thoughts of other people push you around like a leaf in the wind.
If you want to do something or don’t want to do something, speak up. If you disagree with someone in conversation, own it. If a girl you’re talking with (even one you’re attracted to) starts acting in an inappropriate or annoying way, call her out on it.
Most women won’t admit this, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen a guy take a girl home or end up in a relationship with a woman because he was the only man with the courage to say, “You’re being ridiculous! Chill out already”.
3. Women Are Attracted to Men with a Masculine Edge
When you think “Bad boy”, what images come to mind?
Leather jackets, motorcycles, tattoos, big muscles, Marlboro cigarettes, beards, and a few facial scars from one too many fist fights… Right? Exactly.
Women are attracted to bad boys not BECAUSE they are assholes or womanizers but because these men tend to have a more masculine edge in a soft world.
They’re the types of guys who know how to handle themselves, are familiar with pain, and can excel in adverse situations.
This doesn’t mean you need to start smoking, get a tattoo sleeve, and buy a Harley… hardly.
But you can emulate this character trait by adding a masculine edge to your personality.
Pick up a combat sport like Muay Thai boxing or Brazilian Jujitsu. Develop “manly” interests like hunting, restoring old cars, or doing other activities that involve manual effort.
Get off your ass, away from the TV and into LIFE.
Women aren’t attracted to “bad boys” because they’re wrong but because they live an interesting and exciting life.
Bad boys are many things… Boring is not one of them.
4. Women Are Attracted to Men Who Are Living on Purpose
One of the character traits that is ubiquitous among “bad boys” is that they are living with purpose.
Admittedly, most bad boys aren’t trying to save the world, feed starving children, or end the climate change crisis…
Instead, they are on purpose to live their life to the fullest, to enjoy as much adventure, excitement, and sensuality as possible before their premature demise at the age of 40 (likely from a cocaine overdose).
However, they have an essential lesson to teach us.
Women crave men of purpose. Men who are living exciting lives and have a mission beyond clocking in and out at their 9–5 and then sedating themselves with porn, alcohol, and TV until they wake up and do it all over again.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be crazy, but you need to have SOMETHING that drives you and gets you out of bed in the morning.
Whether it’s a creative pursuit like art or music (there’s a reason musicians and artists are portrayed as ladies’ men), a business, world travel, or philanthropy, you need to find a purpose to devote your life to and share that purpose with everyone inside of your life.
Purpose is sexy.
The status quo is not.
5. Women Are Attracted to Unique Men
And finally, women are attracted to bad boys, above all else, because they are unique.
“Nice guys” are typical. They’re ordinary, bland, and vanilla.
Every guy and his younger brother can be a nice pandering suck-up who tells a woman how beautiful she is, buys her flowers, and treats her like a princess.
But it takes a man with grit and courage to challenge the status quo.
Bad boys are attractive because they are different. They go left when nice guys and average men go right. They speak up when everyone else is silent.
They’re edgy and different when everyone else is dying to fit in.
And that is why they are successful with women.
You don’t need to be an asshole to get the girl of your dreams, but you need to be different, you need to be unique, and you need to be memorable.
Because the dating game follows the economic law of supply and demand.
When the supply is high (and trust me, there’s a never-ending supply of boring, nice guys), the demand is low.
And when the supply is low (as it is with “bad boys” and grounded men), the demand goes through the roof.
