Let’s Get Rid of the Age Stigma
Especially surrounding women
Former pageant queen, attorney, and Extra correspondent, Cheslie Kryst, was found dead after apparent suicide. She leapt from her high-rise in New York City on Sunday morning, just hours after leaving a final Instagram post, captioned, “May this day bring you rest and peace ❤️”. She was only 30.
Kryst was a role model for many, making history as one of four black women who won the beauty queen title. Her death not only proves that beauty and success can be deceiving, but also the weight society puts on age.
Kryst suffered from depression and shared her struggles in an emotional essay for Allure. The essay highlighted how society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women, the unbearableness of turning 30, and being the oldest woman to win the Miss USA title. Kryst describes turning 30 as running out of time to matter in society’s eyes.
As a woman who just turned 30 this year, I can relate to Ms. Kryst. Only a year younger than her, I was experiencing similar feelings when I was nearing the Big 3–0. Unlike her, I do not have my graduate degree, I’m not a beauty queen, nor a correspondent on national TV. I’m only working towards my graduate degree, all while older than the majority of my classmates.
Before turning 30, I also worried about the ticking clock. I worried about society’s standards of being married and having kids. When I was young, I thought I’d have a family by this age. As of today, I don’t even have a boyfriend.
I thought I’d be well into a well-established career. Instead, I’m not even sure what I want to do, having quit my full-time job last year. I know I’m not alone in this.
“…there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around. If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out . . . there’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.”
— Emma Watson
Women feel this way because society has created this stigma and impossible standards. If you haven’t established this or that by this age, then you have failed or aren’t trying hard enough. Men get better with age, whereas women apparently wither and decay. Women are “facing the relentless tick of time”, as Kryst puts it.
She further goes on to explain that “30 under 30” lists are constant reminders that achievements are tied to youth. Once you are past a certain age, it’s like your accomplishments are no longer as extraordinary. Your beauty begins to fade and all of a sudden, you’re not as intriguing or impressive as you were when you accomplished something at 21.
The truth is that many women, and some men for that matter, don’t have it all figured out by 30, or any age, really. Some people are not interested in marriage or having children and that’s perfectly fine. Why do we have to compete with society’s standards in regards to success? Success should only be measured by happiness. Ageism, society’s standards of success, weight, beauty, or skin color, and the list goes on, play a role in mental health for many. And in 2022, as a society, we should have already figured this out. We need to do better.
I didn’t know who Cheslie Kryst was before reading about her death, as I haven’t watched beauty pageants in forever. It broke my heart that a woman with such beauty and success would take her own life. When I read more on what she was going through, I realized that the problem lies within society and its need to change before we lose other bright, beautiful, young women like Kryst.
