Notes
Personal Essay
What makes music sad? Is it the notes or the player? I think it’s the longing of the fingers for the keys. They linger on each note for just a bit longer, to take in the feeling of touching their love for just a moment longer. I think the sadness comes from the heartbreak the fingers go through each time they have to let go of the keys.
I am going to lose you one day. Either death will take you away or life will come in the way. A day will come when I’ll hold your hand for the last time, when my fingers will touch your fingertips as we are about to let go of each other. That day, my fingers will linger just a bit longer in the spaces between yours. My hand will hold you for just a moment longer. And if it’s inevitable that I’ll lose you one day, then let me love you each and every day till that moment comes. Let me love you so much that when the day arrives, and when I see you leave, I feel everything crumble around me. I feel the warmth that your fingers left on my palm, the fire your eyes left in mine and the scream your absence left in my heart. Let me feel the wrath of my love for you when you leave. The wrath that’ll come in the shape of grief as a reminder that I loved someone so much. It’s not like I am looking forward to that day. Every day that I wake up knowing that I have you in my life is a day that I consider myself lucky. I just want to make sure that I love you enough to fear losing you.
