The anger as you age
Those elderlies I thought who were discussing some daily matters , turns out to be an argument instead.
I always see this group every Saturday at the pool during summer season. I liked them very much because they seem to be all nice and I guess I’m right. They don’t know me but they always managed to smile and asked how am I as if, hello do you care for me, do you know me? Kidding aside, elderlies are very warm and welcoming to anybody who gives them back the warmth.
Old age doesn’t stop you to be always outdoors
Whether you’re limping, a cancer survivor, has a heart problem or has a disease that is felt worse when you age, it doesn’ t mean you stop meeting your friends or making new friends. In fact, it’s better for your mental health and can even make you age slower because your life becomes livelier with people that makes you happy.
You have more time to meet with friends and acquaintances unlike when you were young, able and busy at work and with your family always. This is actually the stage where you need to enjoy what was left in you after working all your life. You should be thinking less problems except for health reasons which is one disadvantage of getting older. Though it depends also how your lifestyle was during your younger years. You may have had enough time for your friends, less or more, depending on how you had managed your time well.
One saturday morning, I passed by these elderly group at the same time and place they usually gathered together. Everybody were placing foods they brought along with them on the table provided in the area. Another man took a stainless dipper and went to fill water from the nearby faucet to boil for coffee. It’s really nice observing their built up friendship. They were all lovely grannies.
I love looking how happy and lovely they were conversing with each other. It reminded me of my friends back in college having a picnic after hiking at the famous mountain near our school. It made me reminisced the moments we tried to tease each other after the hike while eating our sumptous meals. Such funny but happy memories back then.
I went to seat on a table near the grannies and right away they asked their usual questions. We talked about the hot weather, the insatiable topic everytime we meet. I almost wanted to say teasingly, yeah it’s summer time and it will be freezing a little bit later. Come on, what do we expect in summer?
But girl I said to myself, the best way to start any conversation is to talk about the weather. That way, any topic afterwards will suddenly pop-up. They are elderlies, or say the age of pensioners, they love talking at the same time asking unending questions about you even if it takes long and they love listening too although there are few who aren’t.
In a circle of friends, there is always a rightist and a leftist, just like in politics, a faction-like who goes with an idea together negating that of the other members.
With a real friendship, there should be balance of relationship among members though in reality no one is perfect.
We usually talk something good and bad about somebody in our group without the prospect knowing it. But we never know if they do the same as well to us, although the probability is high. The important thing is, we shouldn’t lose the essence of our friendship.
Simple mistakes can be corrected and dislikes at someone’s personality need not be the reason for hatred that may lead to anger. If you like your friends, you must accept who, what and how they are. You need to know why they have that kind of personality so you will know better how to deal with them.
Sometimes we see our friends who are not in a good mood. Maybe there was a problem with their partners, spouses, children or other friends and relatives. Maybe they have some serious health problems, we never can judge. We just need to sympathize and empathize with whatever their moments are. That is the beauty of friendship. We need to understand that not all of us have the same undergoings but we can be a great influence to those who accept the good side of us with optimism.
While browsing on phone, suddenly the conversation of the elderlies looked even much more interesting. I thought it was just their regular discussion which I know most people here do. They seem like talking to another person on the other side of the mountain, wherever that mountain is, louder and louder making the other people sitting nearby glanced at them curiously.
It’s true. Most normal conversations here is like, you don’t mind who is listening , whether you are inside an elevator, along a corridor, in supermarkets,in public places, inside a bus or on a train. Sometimes you can even grasp personal topics. Like one time, I overheard a couple’s conversation. The woman tried to let her husband speak softly because she knew they weren’t alone but the husband even talked louder. It’s disgusting actually. You talked about your personal problems on finances blaming your wife surrounding an audience? That’s awkward. It’s sometimes funny and annoying especially when they started shouting already.
One of the old men in the group suddenly took his things, packed his bag and shouted at all his friends who remained smiling at him asking for excuses, then right away he left the group like a kid who became mad with his mom for not buying the ice cream he wanted. I was shocked. But I was smiling at myself. On one side it was interesting and funny to see old people arguing. It wasn’t my first time to witness such a situation because I happened to work with a group of elderlies years ago. I have seen arguments based on the simplest misunderstandings and nothing was serious. It’s like looking at toddlers fighting with each other then becoming friends again afterwards.
The other members of the group whispered something among themselves and one by one, they left as well.
I know, based on my experiences that these arguments are temporary. It’s only about a news article that somebody negates the idea of another. That’s normal. In every thing we see or hear, we differ with interpretations. The thing is, we don’t always meet fairly with our own ideas on a certain issue.
I will be expecting to see them again next saturday smiling back at me asking how was my day. I’m sure they would be giggling on another issue while having their meals. The day will be hot as usual and it will even make their conversations hotter.
Tested friendships are not perfect. Some days you have misunderstandings or arguments and some days, it’s as if nothing happened and everybody is at their usual moods.
In any relationship, understanding each other will keep the strong bond despite any challenges that may happen on the way. We just need to have compassion within us.
Value the essence of camaraderie instead of holding grudges with each other.
